Not So Typically After All…

Well, my prediction yesterday was a little bit off; yesterday’s doctor’s appointment wasn’t as typical and in-and-out as I thought it would be. For starters, I *still* haven’t gained any weight. I know I shouldn’t be complaining about this, but I am already 4 months. I feel like I should have gained *something* *anything* by this point. I just want the baby to be getting all the nutrition and growth he needs. The doctor didn’t comment on my lack of weight gain so I guess I shouldn’t start to worry about it just yet.

I also found out yesterday that I will be going to *a lot* more doctor appointments. One of my blood tests came back abnormal. The results are nothing to panic about; the doctor’s just need to monitor me a little bit more closely. Apparently, one of my hormone levels is very low and this puts me at risk for pre-term labor.

So now I need to go to the doctor every other week to get my cervix measured and make sure that I am not dilating. I’m sure that procedure will be tons of fun. Then I also have to get monthly ultrasounds to make sure the baby isn’t sitting too low (i.e. trying to get out) and to make sure he is developing normal. I am looking forward to the monthly ultrasounds; they are the best! Plus, I still have to go to my monthly pre-natal exams. So in one month I will have 4 doctors’ appointments. Yikes! At least I work for a company that is understanding and supportive of all these crazy doctor appointments.

I don’t want to get panicked over this little revelation. I know that the doctors are just being overly precautious. And that’s a good thing, because it is better to be safe than sorry. I now need to pay extra close attention to my body. Any cramping, bleeding or contractions and I need to get myself to the doctor, or if severe, the hospital immediately.

I guess Cayden is just super excited to meet everyone, but he needs to stay in the oven a bit longer so he can be healthy and strong. I don’t think this is a bad thing or anything to get overly worked up about. I plan on being calm and taking everything one day at a time. Pregnancy is full of surprises and if this is the worst news we get I can take it.

My poor parents; they were more shocked and concerned than I was. I was proud of them though for not panicking or freaking out. Plus, once they heard the baby heart’s beating rapidly they were completely filled with joy. He is definitely in there and he definitely sounds like he is thriving.

Since Chad did not make it to the doctor appointment with me I had to explain to him everything that had been explained to me in the doctor’s appointment. It’s hard to remember all the details and get everything right. He kept saying, “Did you ask (fill in the blank)?” And, of course, my answer would be, “no.” I get stage fright when I go to the prenatal visits. I have questions in my head and once I get to the exam room I totally freeze up. I think next time I will take the questions on a piece of paper so that I am forced to ask them. Chad was calm the entire time I was explaining everything and telling him all the appointments I will be going to. He wasn’t panicked or worried. At least he didn’t appear to be panicked or worried. Right now I think his main priority is to be my support system and I love him for that.

Another slight revelation yesterday; Jodi, the nicest FNP ever, said the heartbeat sounded like a girl! The baby’s heart beat was 146 and she says fast heartbeats usually mean girl! Yikes…maybe Cayden will turn into Addison after all. Chad is freaking out about this a little bit. In the end I am going to put more stock in the ultrasound technician who was looking at a picture; rather than the speed of our baby’s heart. It will be quite an adjustment if the baby does turn out to be a girl; just because we are so used to and excited about our little boy. We have our next ultrasound in about two weeks so we will get confirmation then. Whatever happens, boy/girl, I am 100% in love with our baby and can’t wait to hold him/her. But until we get confirmation otherwise I am sticking with Cayden.

So yes, the adventures continue in this exciting process called pregnancy. I can only imagine what lies in store for us over the next few months.

Another Doctor Appointment Today

Well, it’s that time of the month again…doctor appointment time. However, this appointment will be a little bit different. My parents will be there! I truly hope they aren’t expecting any spectacular because they aren’t going to get it. This is one of those wham-bam-thank-you-m’am doctor appointments. Oh well, at least we will all experience it together and I get to leave work early—that’s always a plus.

Chad and I already decided that he would not be attending the quickie doctor appointments with me anymore. It just doesn’t make sense for him to have to leave work early and drive so far for such a quick visit. He just has to make sure he is present for every ultrasound and towards the end he will have to be there because it will be a sensitive and critical time for us. I will need all the support I can get.

Our next visit should be another ultrasound. The next ultrasound will confirm that Baby Cayden is a boy and will also take an in-depth look at all his organs and spine to make sure everything has developed properly. That should be in 4 weeks and I am super-super excited about it. I am saying it again…ultrasounds are the best!

My parents will stay through the weekend and celebrate New Year’s with us. We are having a few people over for some food, board games and a bon-fire in the backyard. I will happily be drinking hot chocolate while all the non-pregnant people get to indulge on Margarita’s (yum) and Dr. Pepper with Southern Comfort (double yum).

I imagine my parents will be happy with any type of visit we have today. They haven’t heard the heartbeat so that will be really exciting for them. Heck, it will be really exciting for me. I will never get sick of hearing the quick heartbeat of my rapidly growing baby boy.

The Holidays

I am back at work today. It’s going to be a hard adjustment waking up early again. I had been sleeping until about 10 am when I was in New Mexico. At least this will be a short week. We have Thursday off and I am thinking about taking Friday as a vacation day. I can surely survive 3 days at work.

We had a great time in New Mexico. Of course, the trip went by super fast. I can’t believe Christmas is already over. We got to Los Lunas about 11 at night on Friday the 19th. We then woke up pretty early to try and be in Clovis by lunch time. Chad was having a major craving for Jaunito’s. We left Buster with my parents because we didn’t want to overwhelm Sherri’s house with another dog. Jaunito’s was awesome just like I knew it would be. We ate lunch with his mom and grandma.

The rest of the Clovis trip was spent eating, playing the Nintendo Wii and lounging around. It was so nice. On Sunday we went to Nan’s house and she made taco salad. It was so flippin’ delicious. Nan truly is an awesome cook and I loved having some of her homemade food. That was the only homemade meal we had the entire Clovis trip. The rest of the time we ate out. We went to Jaunito’s a couple times, Something Different, Twin Crownies, Shoguns, and a couple of Chinese buffet restaurants. I can’t believe little ‘ol Clovis can have so many awesome restaurants.

We were also able to show his mom, Nan and his dad the ultrasound DVD. It was awesome to be able to share that special moment with the family. His family hadn’t seen us since we found out we were pregnant so everyone was super excited to see us. Every time I see the ultrasound DVD I see something new and different. I don’t think I will ever get tired of watching it.

We made it back to Los Lunas by Christmas Eve afternoon. It was eating all over again. Before we went to my grandma’s house I also showed my parents the ultrasound DVD. They watched it a few times. They were so excited to see it they just had to see it again.

The food at my grandma’s house was awesome. I had been craving tamales forever and I enjoyed every bite of them. Yum…Yum. We exchanged presents with all the uncles and aunts and munched on Christmas goodies; after we went looking at Christmas lights in Albuquerque.

We actually slept in on Christmas morning. Chad ended up waking everyone up to open even more Christmas presents. It felt like we opened presents for hours. Chad, as always, spoiled me and got me a million different cool things including: my favorite perfume, a Pomeranian calendar, a new blue tooth headset, a gift card to Motherhood Maternity and a bunch of other stuff I can’t even think of right now.

We spent Christmas day at my other grandma’s house. Again, we ate and opened presents and generally had a good time. Chad played and played with my little cousin Mikey and reinforced just how special he will be as a dad. It almost brought a tear to my eye.

Holy cow on Friday we went to go see the movie Marley and Me. Wow. What a tearjerker. I started bawling during the opening credits. I read the book so I already knew what to expect. But that didn’t stop me from sobbing at the end. Chad and I sat there holding each other and cried our faces off. It was almost embarrassing. It’s about a couple who gets a dog, then has kids and establishes their life. The dog teaches them all about family, love and all that other stuff. It was like looking in a mirror. If you want to sob your head off go see Marley and Me.

We also went to Sandia Casino, my favorite casino of all time. While we were there we won a couple hundred dollars on roulette—holla! I love that casino it has a huge non-smoking room with all the table games which is very nice.

We came home on Saturday because we had so much stuff to do at the house. When we were at Wal-Mart yesterday we bought Cayden a few Christmas onesies. They were on sale and I couldn’t help myself. I had to buy the 6-9 month size. I can’t believe next Christmas we will have a creepy crawler in the house. It is truly unbelievable. I am looking forward to it already!

Cross Dresser?

Ahhh…the joys of a growing baby and a growing body. Last night I discovered these joys first-hand. I woke up about 1:25am burning hot. I don’t know why, we aren’t running the heater and it is usually about 66 degrees in the house. I kicked off all the blankets and laid there for a few minutes; feeling very grumpy and still sweltering. I decided to go to the bathroom; I figured walking on the cold tile floor in my bare feet would help cool me.

I got back to bed and I was a lot cooler, but sleep was still eluding me. My precious and adorable husband was snoring louder than a hibernating grizzle bear on a January evening. Oh my gosh, I felt sorry for him, but also sorry for myself because I couldn’t get back to sleep. I tried to get him to stop. I tried rubbing his arm, leg, shoulder, back, chest…none of that worked. I even resorted to kicking and punching him…still nothing helped. I decided enough was enough and I grabbed Buster and headed towards the spare bedroom.

Our house is old and the installation is lousy; especially in the spare bedroom. In the summer it’s an oven and in the winter it’s an icebox. It was freezing in there. I quickly decided a tank top and panties would not be enough to keep me comfortable. I was in luck. Chad had already packed for our holiday trip and his suitcase was in the spare bedroom.

I opened the suitcase and found a pair of his night pants. This is how the scene played out in my head. I’ll put the night pants on; naturally they will fall off my hips and on to the floor; I’ll pick them up and crawl into bed and fall asleep…case closed.

This is how the scene played out in reality. I grabbed the pants; put in my left leg; put in my right leg and pulled them up. Then nothing. They didn’t fall down to the ground, they didn’t even fall to my knees. Nope. They stayed put; fitting snugly on my hips. “These fit?” I thought. “How is that possible.”

I am convinced that the elastic band is fully stretched out when Chad wears them. But, yes, it is official…I can wear my husband’s clothes.

Christmas Plans

So it’s here; my favorite time of the year…Christmas! It got here really fast this year; I can’t believe we are beginning our holiday travels starting tomorrow. I am going to ask to leave work at 3:00 so that Chad and I can get on the road as soon as possible. The weather doesn’t seem like it wants to cooperate with our holiday driving. I wanted to fly, but Chad insisted that we drive. So we are driving and it’s going to be interesting.

So, we’ll head out tomorrow afternoon and weather and road conditions permitting we will make it to my parent’s house in Los Lunas. The trip normally takes about 6 hours; but with the winter weather it might take longer. Or we might get stuck in Heber or Winslow, Arizona. If that is the case we will just have to stay the night in one of those little towns and finish driving on Saturday. The goal is to get to Clovis by Saturday afternoon.

I am excited to be going to Clovis for a portion of the holidays. I have never spent the holidays with Chad’s family in Clovis and he hasn’t been back for the holidays since he’s lived in Arizona; which is 4 years. It will be good for us to see everyone; especially since his family is still trying to heal from the death of Chad’s grandpa Pop.

We are going to stay in Clovis until Wednesday (Christmas Eve). We will leave sometime after lunch in order to make it to my Grandma Margaret’s Christmas Eve bash. There are so many places we want to eat at once we get to Clovis. It’s amazing how such a small town can be home to so many of our favorite restaurants. Here is our must-eat-at list: Juanito’s, Something Different, Shoguns and China Station. Nan is also going to make us Sunday dinner (taco salad), I can’t wait for that; it’s going to be extra yummy.

Wanna hear the icing on the cake? On Tuesday night Abby and her hubby Tyler, along with their adorable pup named Romy might be able to make it down for a quick visit. They live in Eunice, New Mexico and are heading to Amherst, Texas that night to spend the holidays with Abby’s family. They are planning on making a detour and coming through Clovis! I am so excited about this. I haven’t seen Abby since her wedding; which was over two years ago. And for good friends like me and Abby that is simply too long. You best believe I will be taking tons and tons of pictures of the event.

We will spend Wednesday through either Saturday or Sunday in Los Lunas with my family. Let me tell you…I have been fantasizing about my Grandma Margaret’s homemade tamales for weeks now. YUM! Every time I think of them my mouth waters and I just want to swim in them. They are so delicious. I can’t wait. We always do Christmas Eve at her house. We will then open presents Christmas morning at my parent’s house. I wonder if my parents got Cayden more presents than me and Chad! After that we will head to my Grandma Priscilla’s and Grandpa Fred’s house for more holiday feasts.

I imagine the trip will go by super fast and be super busy, but I also know it will be super fun. I am excited to see everyone and show off my small, but growing, baby bump. There are also so many movies coming out in the theater that I want to see. Hopefully we will be able to catch a few. Maybe we will take Sherri to a movie; I don’t think she’s been to the theatre in years.

I work the whole week after Christmas, with the exception of January 1st because our company is closed that day. My parents will be with us for the New Year and hopefully for my prenatal visit on the 30th of December.

Happy Holidays!

New Year’s Resolutions

I was inspired by my friend Abby’s New Year’s Resolution blog so I decided to write my own. I imagine 2009 is going to be a BIG year for Abby; she has 12 New Year Resolutions! I don’t think I will be brave enough to create 12 resolutions like Abby; however, I do plan on being specific in my resolutions and hope to see them through as best I can. I think resolutions should be all about making yourself a better person and hopefully making the world a better place.

1) Be More Thankful—I need to start saying thank you more; a lot more actually. I often write about what a smarty pants Chad is, but, honestly he is my saving grace. I need to let him know that. He does so much for me, the house, the dog and will for baby Cayden too. Chad if you read this—THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! I also need to start telling my family and friends just how much their presence and support means to me. A little thank you goes a long way and I need to start telling people when they deserve it. Lastly, and probably most importantly, I need to start telling God thank you more. I’ve come to realize that I tend to talk to God in times of need and heartache and slip in a little in times of great joy. So, yes, I need to tell God daily just how thankful I am He has given me so many blessing!

2) Stop Complaining!—This is a big one for me. Chad probably knows this better than anyone, but I complain for everything about everything. I don’t know why either; I guess I just like listening to my own voice. Truth be told I don’t have a lot to complain about so I really need to stop. I usually just complain about little things that don’t matter and since they don’t matter then there is no need to complain.

3) Be Completely Prepared for Cayden By April—Chad is going to have to help me out on this one. He wants to do some minor house repairs in preparation for Cayden. So those repairs need to be done before I can start getting my hands dirty with decorating, painting and spending money! I want everything prepared by April because that puts me at 7 months pregnant. And what if baby comes early? I don’t want to be minus a stroller in that case. Besides I just want to revel in nursery-ness as soon as possible. I can’t wait to videotape Chad putting the crib together. I’ll post it on youtube!

4) Learn From Others—I am surrounded by so many great people and I can learn so much from all of them. Chad’s consideration. My mom’s kindness. My dad’s passion. Sherri’s (my mom-in-law) generosity. Abby’s supportiveness. Kenna’s courage. Kim’s (my boss) faith. Karen’s (my friend at work) goodness. Buster’s thankfulness. Cayden’s ability to constantly grow.

5) Get the Baby Weight Off—Hey, I had to throw in at least one self resolution, right? I am hoping there isn’t too much to take off. But to keep with my resolutions let me say this: I am thankful for the extra weight because it means I have the ability to create life. I thank God for giving me legs to run, arms to lift and a job that provides an on-site gym. Like my dad I will passionate in my workout. Like Kim I will have faith in my ability to get back in shape.

Cocoa Butter and Body Changes

Once I found out I was pregnant I immediately started using cocoa butter all over my body. It is supposed to help with stretch marks. Apparently cocoa butter reduces and prevents stretch marks and with my small frame Lord knows I need all the help I can get. I know that it is impossible to have a baby and not get any stretch marks; however, I do want to minimize the stretch marks as best I can. I put the cocoa butter on my chest, stomach, sides, extra on my hips and my backside. It has made getting ready in the morning take a little bit longer, but I figure it is worth the extra 5 minutes of prep time. At night, I usually use body butter all over to keep my skin moisturized. I imagine that the bigger I get the more times a day I will be doing my lotion routine.

This is what Chad, the jokester, had to say, “You should put some of that cocoa butter on your mouth. You talk so much your lips might get stretch marks.” Ha…Ha…Ha…very funny. Chad should get the award for comedian of the year, right?

I really hope that the cocoa butter does its intended job because I have already started to notice a few body changes taking place. For starters, I have noticed that I am starting to get swollen in a few places. My chest has definitely plumped up. It is actually a really nice side effect of being pregnant. My boobs have never been firmer or perkier. I am sure once the baby is born they will sag down to my knees, but for now I am loving them!

Also, my belly is starting to get slightly swollen. Tracking my belly growth has been a little difficult for me. I have always been small framed and thin, however, I have always-always had a poochy belly. It has always stuck out a little bit and been slightly disproportionate to the rest of my frame. So I really can’t tell if it is baby poochy or just my regular poochy-ness. The only real difference I can tell is that my belly is not as soft and rolly. My stomach is starting to firm, but is still round and sticks out a little. I figure at almost 14 weeks it is definitely starting to get about that time when I will start to really show. My weekly newsletter, that tells me everything that is happening week to week, said I should be in pregnancy clothes by now. I’m not yet. With the exception of a few pants needing the addition of the belly belt I am still in regular clothes. I am sure it won’t last much longer though. Truth be told I am looking forward to a big pregnant belly—just not too big!

One reason I am convinced I will be in maternity clothes in the next few weeks is because I am 100% sure my hips grew a few inches overnight! Here’s the deal. I went to bed in my regular night-time clothes, no problem, no worries. I woke up this morning to make Chad breakfast and my hips were burning—like they were on fire. I pulled down my sweat pants and my underwear was literally dug into my skin really deep. I took them off and my skin was super bright red and had horrible indentations where the underwear band had been. So either my underwear shrunk overnight or I grew overnight. I am thinking it might be the latter. Luckily, I recently went to Victoria’s Secret and bought 7 new pair of underwear all a size bigger than I normally wear. Looks like I will be using those for at least the next 6 months or maybe the rest of forever.

Okay, this next body change is actually pretty funny. I have always had peach fuzz on my belly. Although Chad says, “you can’t call it peach fuzz if it’s brown.” Again, what a jokester. Well, I have brown hair, so naturally my peach fuzz is brown. I have noticed these past few weeks that my “peach fuzz” has upgraded from peach fuzz to full-blown body hair. I look like a gorilla! I don’t know if it is hormones or not, but the hair on my belly is darker, longer and there seems to be a lot more of it. Ugh…I hate it. I want a pretty pregnant belly. I don’t want to look like Thomas Beattie.

Oh well, I am sure these body changes are nothing compared to what is in store for me over the next six months. It’s gonna be a wild ride and I am loving it so far!

A Baby Named and Other Randomness

We’ve named our baby! I know that the doctor said 80% and not 100% the baby is a boy, but we just couldn’t help ourselves. I am so excited to drop the “it”. We don’t mean to say “it” when referring to Baby Reed, but sometimes you just can’t help it. So we knew we wanted to name the baby as soon as possible. Besides I think naming the baby right away helps in the bonding process. I feel more connected to him than ever.

So here it is…drum roll please…our baby will be named Cayden! Chad thought of the name long before I even got pregnant and I love it. I loved it the moment he said it and I grow more in love with it every day. Cayden Reed. It sounds marvelous. I am so thrilled with our name choice. We are still deciding on a middle name. It is so hard to believe this is all happening. Every day is gets more and more real.

Now that we have a tentative gender and name I have added a few more items to our baby registries, and once we get gender confirmed we will finish out the registries and start decorating!

Randomness #1
We went to dinner with Linsey (Chad’s sister) this past Saturday. We went to P.F. Chang’s (best Chinese food ever!). I don’t know if I have mentioned this or not, but Linsey is also pregnant. She is exactly 3 months ahead of me. She will be welcoming baby Kale in March. Two baby boy’s are on the way and everyone is super excited.

After dinner we went back to our house to watch a movie. I was able to feel baby Kale kick! It was one of the coolest things ever. I was able to feel him about three times and Chad was able to feel him too. I was really amazed by how strong his kicks were, you couldn’t just feel them, you could feel them. Linsey and I talked and talked all about pregnancy and all the crazy changes that are happening to us. I am sure Chad was thrilled.

Speaking of movement, at dinner I thought I felt Baby Cayden kicking me. But it is obviously very early to feel such things. However, I have been paying very close attention to everything that has been happening in my mid-section. I have been trying to really pay attention to what exactly are hunger pains and gas pains so that I tell what isn’t gas and hunger pains. This is what it was like. In my lower belly on my right side I felt a little vibration, it lasted about 3 seconds, about 15 seconds after that, another little vibration lasting about 3 seconds. I haven’t felt anything since then, but it was really excited to think that maybe I felt that baby move. I can’t wait to feel him!

Randomness #2
The doctor called today and said the results from my blood work from last week have been fully evaluated. She said everything looked great; no need for follow up testing. I loved hearing that. Now we can breathe. I am so grateful everything is progressing the way it should be. I have my monthly pre-natal visit scheduled for December 30th and I am sure we will go over the test results in-depth at that appointment.

Randomness #3
I still haven’t gained any pregnancy weight. I believe it’s normal to stay the same during the first trimester. I imagine that in the next few weeks I will really start packing on the pounds. For one, I will be entering my second trimester and Cayden will also starting putting on significant weight. Also, it is the holidays and I simply can’t say no to all the goodies that are surrounding me.

The Cat’s Out of the Bag

Well, like the lion from Wizard of Oz, I had also been looking for courage. I wanted the courage to tell my director all about Baby Reed. Today, with the blessing of my manager, I found the courage I was looking for and I told her. And you know what? Anticipation is worse than action. It wasn’t bad at all. She didn’t shun me or fire me. She genuinely seemed excited for me.

I knew I had to tell her soon. A time bomb has been ticking for awhile now. For starters, there is our department holiday party tonight at her house. I was afraid someone might say something during the party. I didn’t want to create an awkward situation at the party and I figured it would be more respectable if I told her myself. Also, Karen, my good friend at work, her boss asked if I was pregnant. So that made me figure that I am starting to look pregnant.

Now the cat is out of the bag and I feel good. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. No more hushed conversations and looking around the corner to see who is there. Now, I can just proudly display my happiness and joy for the whole world to see.

So, I will likely spend the rest of the day telling the rest of my department, floor, campus, Phoenix metropolitan area, the state of Arizona and the entire Southwest Region all about Baby Reed. I wonder how expensive it is to rent a billboard or a skywriting airplane?

Telling People At Work

I work for the University of Phoenix; I work in the Corporate and Community Relations department. This means that my department reaches out to local corporations as a way to market our educational programs. I am out of the office a lot—visiting different companies; mainly giving presentations about our school. Our department has two main segments; employees that work directly with corporations and employees who work directly with alumni students. There are two managers; one that oversees the corporate people and the other overseas the alumni people. Then we have our director.

So far, the two managers know about Baby Reed. Our director does not. However, the decision not to tell our director (a woman by the way) wasn’t mine. I was basically told not to by both managers. They both gave this reasoning: “she’s not supportive.” I still don’t know what to make of all this. I am happy and I want to shout from the rooftops that I am going to be a mom. Instead, I feel like I have to hide. I have only told a few people at work; a couple of my good friends and then anyone else who has heard it through the grapevine.

I think it comes to a moral or ethical issue. I am a grown woman with a husband. It makes me no longer want to work for this department. And that’s sad because I love working for this department and I love being out in the community telling people about University of Phoenix. But I just don’t think I can work for a department whose director is so completely heartless. I think I want to go back to Student Services; the department I worked in before I came to Corporate/Community Relations. I am looking now and once I get back from FMLA I will be really looking.

Now I am kind of confused. When do I say something? I am already 13 weeks. I will be showing soon. Do I say something? Does my manager say something? Do I let her figure it out when my belly is big? Do I let her hear it from some random co-worker? I don’t know. I know I am not going to keep this to myself anymore. I am going to start telling people and if she finds out who cares. She can’t fire me over it; she can only be mean and judging and I can handle that.

Gosh, words fail to put into perspective just how hardnosed and cold this woman is. I have never been a fan of her and now I can’t stand her. There are so many reasons and examples that simply wouldn’t fit in this blog. Man, if I hear “don’t let Jean find out” one more time I am going to HR—probably not, but I would love to.

She has a grown child, my mom’s age, and an 18-year-old grandson. So maybe she’s lost touch with what it’s like to be a young mother. But I don’t think you should ever lose touch of what’s it’s like to be a human being.

Yesterday’s Dr. Appt

Wow! So, yesterday was one of the coolest days in the life of being pregnant so far. We had an in-depth ultrasound of Baby Reed and it was amazing, absolutely amazing. The ultrasound lasted over 30 minutes, though I could have stayed watching the baby forever. It was so in-depth and precise. It is mind-blowing to take a peek inside and witness life being formed. Now I understand why they call it a miracle. I am amazed by this baby and his constant movement, curiosity and growth. The baby was so active yesterday. I felt like he was teasing us. When the ultrasound tech wanted him on his back he would roll to his stomach. When she wanted to see his face he would show us the back of his head. It was funny.

I can’t believe how different this ultrasound was from the first one. In the first one you could see the baby, but it was kind of like an ink blot. In this ultrasound you could definitely tell there is a tiny baby inside me. The baby is now a little over 3 inches. The tech said he was big! I still won’t be able to feel his movements for another 3 to 7 weeks. I can’t wait. When I was seeing the baby on screen it was hard to believe I couldn’t feel him too, just because the movement s were so big. He kept kicking off the bottom of the baby sac and would swim around and roll over and touch his face. Wow, it was so flippin’ amazing.

Chad was completely mesmerized. He was holding my hand and watching the screen. He couldn’t take his eyes off the baby. I couldn’t either. I didn’t want to miss a thing. Luckily for us they taped the entire ultrasound and put it on a DVD for us to take home. We re-watched at home and it was just as amazing the second time around. I am so excited about this DVD, because now we can share it with friends and family. This is so awesome because obviously our family hasn’t been able to be there for our doctor appointments. It’s such an awesome and special keep sake.

I was amazed by the clarity of the pictures. You could see baby butt checks, absolutely adorable. We even got a glimpse at baby fingers. All 5 were there! It was awesome. We will confirm the other 15 fingers and toes at a later date. We could see the lobes of the brain and the ribs and the vertebrae’s in the spin. The arms and legs are fully formed; we could see the bend in the wrist and ankles as well as the elbows and kneecaps. I still can’t believe a real live person is floating around inside me. I wish I was a marsupial so I could pull back my pouch and take a look anytime I wanted!

Wanna hear a real kicker? The ultrasound tech said that she is 80% sure we are having a boy and that she has only been wrong twice. A little boy! How wonderful! She said not to paint the nursery blue just yet, but she is pretty certain. Now we just need to finalize the name. We have it down to two. We just gotta pick one. Wow! I was so excited we were able to get an early read yesterday. Wow! I wish I could stop saying wow, but I just can’t help it.

After the ultrasound was over we met with the genetic counselor. She said everything looked good and there is no need to worry about birth defects or abnormalities. Thank God for miracles! They did a little blood work. Only 6 drops—not 6 vials. Thank God for small favors. They will confirm everything once the blood work has been analyzed.

We will do another in-depth ultrasound around weeks 18-22. During that ultra-sound they will do the finger and toes test as well as take an in-depth look at all of the baby’s organs. They will also confirm that Baby Reed is a boy at that time. For now, I am gonna keep with the he’s and his and once we decide on our name I will let you know that as well.

Sometimes life is hard and it brings us heartache and despair and sometimes life is really good. I pray for God to give me the strength to get through the hard times and the humility to be especially grateful for the good times. Above all, I thank God for putting people in my life that are there for both.

Testing & Ultrasound Today

We have a doctor’s appointment today at the Perinatal and Women’s Center of Arizona (sounds very official, huh?). They will be doing some genetic testing on the baby and doing an in-depth ultra sound. First, I will have to get some more blood work (yuck!) done to measure various levels of hormones. This will help rule out any genetic disorders such a Down ’s Syndrome or Sickle Cell. Then we will have our second ultra sound. This ultra sound will take an in-depth look at the physical development of Baby Reed. They will do a lot of different measurements to make sure the baby is physically developing normally and healthy.

Neither Chad nor I have any family history of genetic disorders or unhealthy pregnancies so that provides me with reassurance. Plus, we are both young (well, at least I am…lol) so that means we do not have increased risks of any complications. Still, it is a bit unnerving because you just never know…and above all, I want more than anything for our baby to be as healthy as can be. We have a lot of people praying for us and I am confident all will go well today.

Plus, I am super excited about the ultrasound. Ultrasounds are the best; I want to give the guy who invented the ultrasound a big kiss on the forehead. I can’t wait to see all the different parts of Baby Reed in live-action. The baby was already pretty active at 8 weeks so I can’t imagine what he will be like at 12 weeks. The ultra-sound machine they are using is extremely state of the art, so we should be able to see some really clear images. I wish we could learn the gender today, but that is still about 8 weeks away. I’m also still waiting to feel movement , but nothing yet. I won’t feel baby kicks for another 3 to 7 weeks. I definitely hope it’s soon rather than later.
Tune in tomorrow to get updated on Baby Reed’s progress and to check out some more pictures of our little one in action!

Ready for This?

While being pregnant has been the greatest joy of my life I can’t help but think of all the changes that are yet to come and the sacrifices that will have to be made. I wonder…am I ready? Are we ready? Bottom line…I’m scared of what is yet to come. In the past, my biggest argument for not wanting a child had always been, “because I’m really happy with the way everything is.” As time went on I began to realize that my satisfaction with my life made me want to share it; made me want to create something bigger than just Chad and I.

Again, I go back to the word sacrifice. There will be so many. For starters, and the most shallow of all, is my body. Despite my continuous exercise and improved eating habits, my body will change and chances are it will never be the same again. To be honest, I wasn’t all that thrilled with it before I got pregnant. Money; there just never seems to be enough of it. How will we pay for *fill in the blank* runs through my mind all the time. Time, it’s another valuable and elusive commodity. Will I ever sleep again? Finally, and maybe most importantly, there is still so much Chad and I want to do…travel mainly. There are a million destinations we want to visit and we even would like to spend some time living outside the country. Selfishly, I wonder if Chad and I will ever spend another Sunday wrapped up in the sheets all day without a care in the world.

I realize the decision to have this child is letting go of the last piece of me that’s free. When Chad and I first got together there was a whole world open to us. We could go anywhere, do anything. Now, we need to provide an environment for our baby that is stable and routine. We own a house (that thanks to the economy is worth less than what we paid for it), two cars and have student loans. The option to pick up and leave simply isn’t there. The option to change simply isn’t there. I mean, I sometimes want to leave my job. Don’t get me wrong, I like my job a lot and I love all of my co-workers. University of Phoenix is a great place to work, but there are times I want something more, something different, a new challenge. Now I have to stay committed and be responsible. I suppose that it is human instinct to feel a little trapped when all of your options suddenly start to disappear.

I know most expectant parents must all share the same fears and must feel the same heavy burden of responsibility. If I didn’t feel this way I don’t think I would be being honest with myself; I don’t think I would be taking it seriously enough.

Don’t get me wrong. I am completely humbled and grateful for this experience. And I recognize that there are couples out there who haven’t been able to conceive as easily as Chad and I. This gift is a miracle and I am thankful every day. In addition to all the sacrifices that lay before me I also think of all the joy yet to come.

Eventually it comes down to taking a leap of faith. Because, truth be told, there is no such thing as being 100% ready for a child. There will never be enough money, or enough time, and we’ll never have done all the things we want to. If we wait for everything to be in place and be 100% right and ready; eventually this truly great moment will pass us by. The simple truth is that in the end having a child is priceless, sleep is overrated and the joy of raising another human being is greater than any overseas adventure.

Baby Buster

I love my dog. I do. I am completely in love with Buster. Buster has been a beautiful addition to mine and Chad’s life and I truly feel he has taught us valuable lessons on becoming parents. Obviously, our parents are the number one contributors in that department; however, parents set the example and Buster has given us the opportunity to practice the example.

We got him just over three years ago. At the time, Chad and I were living in a small apartment and there really wasn’t room for a dog, but I insisted, and I got my way. I had a Pomeranian growing up, Bubbles, and I loved him dearly (he passed away about 6 months ago) so I knew I wanted to share my living space with another Pom. After seeing dozens of Poms, I finally found one in the local paper that seemed like a good fit. The minute I saw him bounce out the carrier I was a goner; I was in love and I knew I would buy him.

Chad had never been a fan of small dogs, but he immediately grew to love Buster and now they are best friends. Sometimes I think Buster loves Chad more than me! They are inseparable and it is completely adorable to watch the two of them play together. Buster truly is our “first child”. I know that a dog and a human baby are very different. But Buster is definitely part of the parenting process for us. First you take care of yourself. Then you take care of a plant. Then you take care of a dog. Then it’s time for a human baby. I know that Buster will be an amazing older brother. I cannot wait to watch him with the Baby. I 100% trust Buster and know he will be nothing but gentle with the new baby.

Buster has truly taught us how to take care of another living being. And now that I am pregnant I feel more in love with him than ever; and I want to make sure he is taken care of more than ever. Buster has needs and Chad and I need to make sure we are able to meet those needs. We need to make sure he is feed, watered, loved, exercised, cleaned and has a safe place to call his own. We have to find dog-sitters and take him to the dog-doctor. Taking care of him and watching him grow has been such a joy. I can’t imagine how wonderful it will be to see our child grow, learn and thrive in this crazy world. Buster, like a child, even gets an attitude and is deliberately defiant—it’s so funny. I definitely anticipate Buster and the Baby teaming up and leaving poor ‘ol mom and dad in the dust.

I feel that Buster can sense that there is life growing inside me. On Tuesday of this week he jumped in my lap after dinner, like he usually does. Then, out of nowhere he began sniffing my belly like crazy. Next thing I knew he put his snout up my shirt and began licking my belly. It was so sweet. He was licking my belly in the same exact spot that we had heard the heart beat on Monday. It was crazy. I absolutely loved it. Of course Chad had to crack a joke and say, “He’s just getting the cheese that’s stuck in between all your rolls.” But we both knew that there was something more to it than that.

For all you pet owners out there…I salute you. Animals truly are our children. They are very important and hold a very special place in our families.

Registies (Updated)

Alas, I got the BabiesRUS website to work and now I have been able to successfully create our registry there. I have only added a few things. We will likely go to the store and add items there; it's better to actually feel and see the items rather than just seeing them online. And of course, we will add a lot more items once we know if Baby Reed will have a cookie or peepee. :o)

Registries

So, I decided yesterday that I wanted to start our baby registries! Ahhh…I love it! It’s so much fun picking out baby stuff. I know I can’t add too much stuff yet because we won’t know the gender of Baby Reed for another 8 weeks or so. But, still, I just wanted to get started because I am overly inpatient (excited) and I thought if people didn’t have Christmas ideas for us they could just go check out the registry.

I decided I would register at both Wal-Mart and BabiesRUs. I picked Wal-Mart because everyone is near a Wal-Mart and mainly because there are no Targets in Clovis; which is where Chadders family is located. Besides, Wal-Mart is super economical and, surprisingly, they actually have really nice, cute stuff for babies. I mean Wal-Mart has all the name brands like: Fisher Price, Baby Einstein, Leap Frog; so I figure it can’t be that bad. I picked BabiesRUS because, well, duh. It has everything; all of their items are beyond adorable and really nice quality. Besides, it is nice for people to have a variety to choose from when getting a gift.

Well, creating my Wal-Mart registry went off without a hitch. I’ve already added a few (very few) items. The BabiesRUS registry has not been so user-friendly. In fact, our BabiesRUS registry is still not yet created. Something must be wrong with the website, because the website simply will not save any of my information. I have tried creating our registry about 4 times and nothing. The website will not save my information nor create my registry. I even called tech support and got no help. I was just told to try again. It’s really frustrating that a huge corporation, that probably gets a lot of sales through baby registries, would have a non-functioning website. At least I still have months to work on it, but that isn’t the point.
Oh well, if you get a chance go check out our registry at the Wal-Mart website…at least that one is working!

Back At It

Today is my first official day back to work after being off for more than a week. Man, let me tell you…it’s hard going back. I can hear my comfy bed and precious dog calling me back. I can’t imagine what it will be like having to come back after the baby is born and I’ve been off for 12 weeks. I wish I could just stay at home all the time; I love it. :o)

I took yesterday off because I was sick. It had nothing to do with baby, it was just your regular common cold. I feel much better today, but still a little tired and achy. I started feeling bad on Thursday, during Thanksgiving feast (what a bummer!), and it lasted all weekend. I had a sore throat, achy muscles, a stuffy and runny nose (don’t know how that happens), headache and just felt all around miserable. The only medicine I could take was Tylenol Cold. It didn’t help. To make matters worse I got my poor mom sick too. Yesterday was 100% pure lazy relaxation. I didn’t wake up until 11pm! Holy cow! I haven’t slept that late since college. After I woke up I didn’t even get out of bed. I just laid in bed with the remote in one hand and Buster in the other. I laid there until I had to get up and go to my doctor’s appointment.

The doctor appointment wasn’t for my sickness; it was for my monthly pre-natal visit. A couple of surprising things happened yesterday at the doctor’s appointment. For starters, I lost weight! Aren’t you supposed to gain weight and get all fat and happy during pregnancy? Well, apparently this is perfectly normal during the first trimester and baby is doing well. Besides, I don’t want to gain too much weight during my pregnancy because then it will be that much harder to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight (if it happens at all). All my other appointments have been with nurse practioners or ultra sound techs and this appointment was with the actual OB/GYN doctor. I was excited to meet the actual doctor, Bruce Eich, MD. Well, my excitement soon wore off, because the appointment lasted a whole 5 minutes. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it all happened really fast. Dr Eich was super nice and friendly, but there just wasn’t a whole lot to be done. He had me lay on my back and felt my tummy and said I was a “good size” and then we listened to the baby’s heartbeat…still amazing. Then he sat me up and said he would see me in four weeks. That’s it! I told him I was sick and he it would work itself out of my system in 7-10 days. The end. I felt bad that I made Chad rush to the appointment. It felt like a waste. Oh well, we will do the whole thing over again come December 29th.

Thankful

It’s Thanksgiving and to say I have a lot to be thankful for would be an understatement. I often wonder how I managed to be so blessed. I am surrounded by amazing people. I married the greatest man on this planet and he puts up with all my shenanigans. I have parents who love me beyond measure and aren’t afraid to show it. I have friends that are supportive, caring and all around fun!

And if all that weren’t enough we have a baby on the way! I feel blessed that this beautiful baby will be in mine and Chad’s life in 7 months. I am so excited to be a mom and watch my child grow. I am certain that there will be challenges and hardships along the way, but I know our support system will help us through anything.

I know there I times I complain about my job, Chad’s job or that I don’t have enough money for all the things I want, but the simple truth is that I am blessed beyond measure and I am so thankful for that.

I want to give a shout out to those people who I am especially thankful for:

-My Husband Chad—I couldn’t get through the day without him. His constant support, understanding, patience and attention hold me together.

-My Mom Yvonne—She inspires me to be a better person and has been the greatest example of a wonderful mother.

-My Dad Ray—His passion and enthusiasm are unparalleled; he proves that a fathers love is unwavering and beyond measure.

-My Dear Dear Friend Abby Reed—We share more than just a last name. Her ability to “get me” is priceless and her support is undeniable.

-Chad’s Family—For never making me feel like an in-law.

-My Dear Dear Friend Kenna Stevens—Who inspires me to take risks and dare to be extraordinary.

-My Grandparents—Who obviously did something right because they have wonderful sons/daughters and grandchildren.

-My Dog Buster—Who teaches me to never take myself too seriously and to always savor every hug and every kiss.

Chad's B-Day

Today is Chad’s 31st Birthday! Happy Birthday to Chadders! I have a cake in the oven (his favorite--pineapple upside down) and am writing this as I wait for him to get home from work. We are going to go to Red Lobster for dinner. And then will wait up for my parents to get into town. My dad had to work today so they will be here about 9pm.

This is a very special birthday for Chad since we've got a bun in the oven. It’s amazing because our lives have emotionally and mentally changed so drastically over this past month, however, our daily routine hasn’t changed much. It will be amazing to see how different his next birthday will be; he’ll be getting a gift from his son or daughter. Everything since we found out we were expecting is so excitingly different.

For his b-day present I got him an acoustic guitar. He has been wanting one forever and I thought with a baby on the way it would be perfect. I got him an acoustic guitar kit; complete with a stand, strap and carrying case. Now he just has to learn how to play it! But he is super smart and really music savvy so I think he will be okay. I can't wait for Chad to play songs to me and the baby. That's totally cheesy, but it's true.

The Week Off

I have the whole week off of work. I am very excited about this. It will be a good time to rest up. Today I am cleaning the house since Thanksgiving will be at mine and Chad's house this year. Then at 5pm I am getting a massage. This is much needed. My back, neck and shoulders have been so sore lately. Chad gives me rubs to help me feel better but he doesn't have the stamina of a professional. I am sure massages will be my one vice during my pregnancy.

Tomorrow is Chadders 31st birthday! I am just going to chill at the house and wait for him to get home and take him to dinner. He will have a little surprise waiting for him when he gets home too! I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow which is pretty crappy, but I really need to get my teeth cleaned. My parents will be in late Tuesday night for the Thanksgiving weekend.

On Wednesday the parents and I will do a ton of shopping and finish getting ready for the Thanksgiving feast. I am sure the baby will consume mine and my parents entire conversation. Plus they haven't seen Chad since the big news broke so that will be really exciting. There may be tears shed all over again!

Got Rest?

Today I am officially upgrading myself from exhausted to extremely tired. Man, let me tell you…the first couple of months of pregnancy are so tiring. Apparently it takes a lot of energy to grow a person…who would have thought? This past month or so I simply couldn’t get enough sleep. Chad loved sleeping in on the weekends, but it was kind of annoying to be so tired all the time.

I’ve always prided myself on being naturally energetic. When I get to work in the morning I usually head straight to the break room and I find 5-6 people hovering around the coffee pot like vultures waiting for the pot to finish brewing. I would happily grab my cup of ice water and head out the door. I didn’t need caffeine to get me awake or keep me awake. But the last few weeks I felt like I needed a Starbucks IV drip; unfortunately for me caffeine is off limits. I would have to literally get up from my desk during work and walk around just to keep from falling asleep and bashing my head into the monitor. It was rough. I figured I was being prepared; because once the baby is born it will be at least 18 years until I have a day where I am un-tired.

But now, going into my 10th week I am starting to feel less exhausted. I am still really tired, but it is not as intense. Maybe it’s because I have been slacking and sleeping in an extra 15 minutes and consequently getting to work an extra 15 minutes later. Whatever the reason I am slowing starting to become my old self again. Thank goodness because tired Melissa was grouchy and mean—ask Chad! I am definitely looking forward to my second trimester where I get all my energy back and I finally start to feel the baby kick!

Distance

I’ve been thinking a lot about distance lately. The distance between two people; the distance to reach a goal. There are people in my life that are separated from me by distance, yet this distance makes little impact on the closeness between us. Whether separated by a street, a state or a continent the bond that is shared with these people triumphs over any number of miles between us.

I write this knowing that there are people in my life that I don’t get to spend as much physical time with as I would like, but I am not discouraged by this; rather I remain optimistic and confident that our love will survive any distance, test or misunderstanding. The truth is love doesn’t grow weaker because of miles but rather a gradual giving up by both parties.

Now that Chad and I are starting a family of our own I remain more committed than ever to keeping those who mean the most close to us. I recognize that distance is not an easy obstacle to overcome however I’ve always believed that love can bridge any physical space between two people.

I remain thankful for airplanes, cars, cell phones, e-mail, webcams, blogs, myspace and youtube; for these help close the distance.

This Weekend

This past weekend Chad and I spent some time looking at baby stuff! We had a great time; although Chad was a bit overwhelmed by the enormity of BabiesRUs. On Friday night we went to the mall because I wanted to go to Motherhood Maternity. I was on a quest to get a “belly belt” and, of course, I was able to find one there. Let me tell you the “belly belt” is the greatest invention ever! It’s like a spandex that you wear around your waist that allows you to wear your pre-pregnancy clothes for a lot longer. The “belly belt” let’s you keep your pants unbuttoned and still hold everything in place. Chad called it a girdle, but I feel more comfortable using the term “belly belt”—it sounds cuter. So now I’ve been wearing pants and jeans that I haven’t been able to fit into long before I even got pregnant. It’s great for the self-esteem!

On Saturday we went to BabiesRUs. That store is massive, it has everything. Holy cow! It’s amazing how much stuff they can make for babies and believe me I wanted it all. Chad makes fun of me and says that I want 5 different things for the baby to sleep in. But I can’t help it. I don’t know what is needed and what isn’t…so I’ll just take it all. It was a great way to look around and get an idea of what we will register for. I have been looking online non-stop since I found out I was preggers, but it is so much nicer to be able to touch and feel the products I will be registering for. We found a bib that says “tax break”—isn’t that the funniest thing ever?!?! I’m totally gonna get it. It’s just so much fun looking at everything and deciding what we want. It makes it all so real. I am sure Chad will endure several more trips to the BabiesRUs before all this is over, but luckily for me he is such a good sport and goes along with basically whatever I want. Go Chad.

A First Peek At Baby Reed

WOW! Yesterday was amazing…absolutely amazing. I can’t get over it. I really can’t. It was one of the most awesome-est experiences in my whole life. Sharing the moment with my amazing husband made it all the more special. We got to the doctor’s office and I was filled with such nervousness and anticipation. It was a big, big day for The Reeds and all of our family and friends. Everyone we know have been such cheerleaders for us. It’s so awesome to get to share this amazing experience with so many people who love and support us. I’ve never felt more blessed in my whole life.

The doctor’s office was set up really nice; there was a big 32 inch plasma in the corner so that Chad and I could see everything clearly. So I am laying there and the ultrasound tech is positioning the device (since I am so early they didn’t do the ultrasound on my belly, they used other means…think about it. Enough said) and suddenly an image is on the screen. Holy cow! It’s our baby and the image is crystal clear and the heart is beating rapidly and it’s beautiful. I couldn’t believe it. I immediately begin laughing and Chad gives me a giant high five. All I could say the entire time was, “that’s crazy.” I must have said “that’s crazy” a million times. But it was crazy, it really was. It was unbelievable. Gosh, I still can’t get over it.

The ultrasound tech took some measurements and determined that I was 8 weeks, 5 days and gave me a new tentative due date of June 19th. Yup, it’s going to be nice and sizzling hot when I am 9 months pregnant. The baby’s heart rate was 162; perfectly normal. The baby is a whooping 2 centimeters. It is amazing that the baby is only 2 centimeters and all organs are developed and movement has already begun. I cannot feel any kicks or moves yet, but on screen our baby is super hyper; moving and dancing already! Amazing. Everything, so far, is good and Chad and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Wow.

First Ultrasound Today!

The first ultrasound is today! We are so excited, I feel like we have been waiting for this day forever. Once the initial shock and excitement of being pregnant wore off an unexpected fear began to set in. A million different scenarios raced through our heads and suddenly we started to feel a bit panicky. We just want everything to be okay. We just want a healthy baby.

That’s why we can’t wait for this ultrasound. It will be real scientific/visual/auditory proof that there is a baby growing inside me. It’s still sometimes hard to grasp the concept that I am in fact pregnant; just because the changes that have happened have been subtle at best. I haven’t thrown up, not even once (most would consider me lucky), I’ve haven’t really gained any weight and my stomach looks exactly the same. The only real evidence is a positive pregnancy test.

This is a scary time, but I hate feeling paranoid and overly worried. I try to remain calm and tell myself that I am young, healthy and do not engage in behaviors that could cause anything bad to happen to myself or the baby. Still, when I read statistics like “50% of pregnancies in the first four weeks result in miscarriage and 20% of all pregnancies after week 4 result in a miscarriage” it freaks me out a little; because 20% is high to me.

My appointment is at 3pm. Chad is meeting me there. I can’t wait. I will be anxious all day and counting the minutes. I am sure I will get there beyond early. Good thing they always see me on time. I will say this…beyond the fear lies an extreme amount of excitement and I am going to try to focus on that today.

The Reeds

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I'm Starving!

I write this as I am eating a giant bowl of fruit salad that Chad lovingly made for me yesterday; and it is really hitting the spot. It’s 10:13am, I usually don’t have my morning snack until 10:45 or so, but I am starving right now. I am always starving. Here’s the routine. I eat. I get full. Two hours pass. I am starving all over again. I do get fuller faster.

This is good because it means baby is growing! But at the same time I don’t want to be the size of a house come delivery day. That’s why I decided to really kick up the fruits and veggie consumption. I figure I can’t go wrong with those two; they have great nutritional value and next to no fat.

The doctor says I can expect to gain anywhere between 20 and 40 pounds. I would really like to stay on the 20 side. So far, I have gain 1.5 pounds, it doesn’t sound like a lot and most of it is in my boobs (Chad is very happy), I just want to make sure I keep the weight gain in check. Extra weight is not healthy for me or baby.

It’s just amazing how quickly changes begin to occur; my appetite, my bra size and I just feel different in general.

“The Peanut”

Since we found out I was pregnant our baby has been affectionately referred to as “Peanut.” We use the name Peanut for a few reasons. One: the baby is very small right now; much like a peanut. Two, and more importantly, we use the name Peanut as a tribute to Chad’s Grandfather Bill Bollinger, known by most simply as Pop. Peanut was Pop’s nickname for me. Every time he saw me he would say, “Well, hey there Peanut,” and give me a great big giant hug.

In the beginning of August, just one month after Chad and I decided to start a family of our own Pop passed away suddenly of a heart attack. To those who knew Pop this was a sudden shock; he was healthy and active and most of us thought he would out live us all. We, as a family, are still grieving and finding comfort in each other.

Isn’t it strange how the most joyous times often cause us to reflect on those we have lost and make our hearts ache a little? I know my side of the family has also shared in losing a much loved member of the family. Back in 2002, my mother’s father, Remiy Chavez, passed away at the very young age of 56. Though several years have gone by since his passing he remains a constant fixture in our daily conversation and thoughts.

It saddens me deeply to know that there are people in my life who I love very much, like Pop and my Grandpa Reimy, that I will not be able to see hold my baby, but it gives me great peace to know that they were able to hold my baby long before I ever did, in heaven, before our PEANUT came down to earth to be with me and Chad.

“Yes, we DID!”

Proud. That one word sums up my entire mood today. Proud. I am beyond proud to be an American today. Last night was historical, and regardless of party affiliation or candidate support there can be no denying that the election of Senator Barack Obama is one of the shining moments in American history. As of 8:59 pm the biggest and most historical event in my life had been the terrorist attacks of September 11th. That changed for the better at 9:00 pm when it was announced that Sen. Obama had surpassed the 270 electoral votes needed to become president elect. The announcement brought me to tears and as I write this I still have a lump in my throat.

On August 28, 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr gave his historic “I Have A Dream Speech.” Now, 45 years later that dream has been realized. In less than 50 years our country has made significant strides towards abolishing racism and providing equal rights for all. As Sen. Obama stated in his victory speech from Grant Park in Chicago, Illinois, there is still much work to be done and it won’t happen overnight, but our country proved last night that change is possible and change is happening. Change is happening now.

I am so thrilled that our baby will be born to an Obama administration. I feel Barack Obama is the right person for the job and I feel he will bring prosperity to our lives and our country. I am so happy that our baby will be born in a world where anything is possible and anyone can be anything. It is a great time to be an American and it is a great time to bring a new life into the world.

Doctor Visit: 11/03/2008

Our first doctor’s visit was yesterday. Nothing major happened, well, I fainted, but I’ll get to that later. Chad met me there. He was super adorable and completely out of his element. He was surrounded by so many women, including the staff. I’m excited he is making such an effort to be there with me and be involved.

Once again, I was seen at my exact appointment time and considering my appointment was at 4pm I was especially impressed. I remain 100% convinced that I choose the right place for the preparation and birth of our child. I love that the facility completely caters to women’s needs; it makes me feel like they are experts. The doctors and nursing staff are very friendly, concerned and willing and able to answer any questions I may have. I also think that Chandler Regional Hospital, where I will deliver, is going to be a great hospital. We left the office with stacks and stacks of reading materials, coupons and guides to all the baby and maternity stores in the Phoenix area. Lots of homework awaits us!

The actual visit was very routine. The doctor did a quick exam and went over any questions I may have, which I didn’t—I’ve been doing too much internet research. However, I did find out that my uterus is getting bigger! That means a growing baby! I am very excited about this. The doctor said my first ultrasound could be scheduled for next week! So, our first ultra sound will be on Wednesday, November 12th—I cannot wait for this. Baby development will be monitored and a more accurate due date will be determined. I also got another appointment scheduled for December 1st. The December 1st visit is just another routine visit. I can’t believe how often they want to see you—I’ve never been to the doctor this often in my life!

After the exam was over I had to do some blood work. I hate blood work, absolutely hate blood work. I would rather get 100 pap’s than 1 vial of blood taken from me. Just thinking back on the whole experience from yesterday gives me chills. The nurse begins to draw blood; it felt like forever. I buried my head into my shoulder the entire time. It wasn’t ending. Finally, it was over. I look down and there are 5…5 vials of blood. They drained me dry! I get up and walk to the checkout counter. Suddenly I start to sweat profusely, like just ran a marathon sweat, and suddenly everything gets extremely blurry and my head is light. I feel myself losing it. I stumble to where Chad is sitting and slump next to him. I remain in this state for a good 3 to 5 minutes. It’s awful. After some time and deep breathes I finally recover, but my head is killing me. By the time I get home I am feeling 100% recovered and I know it’s all worth it. But, man, I sure hope I don’t have to do blood work again anytime soon.

Doctor Appointment Today

We (I say “we” because I want Chad to be 100% involved in the entire process) have a doctor’s appointment today! It’s not a big doctor appointment or anything—a physical will be performed and some blood work will be done. We are anxiously awaiting the first ultrasound visit, which will be two to three weeks from now. I cannot wait for the first ultrasound. It will be such a relief to hear the thud-thud-thud of our baby’s heartbeat. I feel I will finally be able to relax at that point and take in a deep breath.

I am still excited for this visit. It is just confirmation that all of this is really happening. And I do have a few questions for the doctor like, “will this exhaustion ever end?” And it will be good for Chad to meet the doctors and get an idea of what to expect in the next coming weeks and months. Bless his heart; Chad has been putting up with my tired and moodiness exceptionally well. He is sweet and supportive, I really couldn’t ask for more. He is even going to do the pregnancy yoga DVD’s with me.

Start Spreading The News

Ironically, my parents were basically the last to know about my pregnancy. I waited a week to tell them in person, but that didn’t mean I could possibly wait any longer to tell other people. Chad could no longer keep the news to himself either. So, Monday, a whole 5 days before my parents found out, the news started to spread.

Once I got confirmation from the doctor Chad was immediately on the phone to his mom, Sherri, in Clovis. Chad’s little sister Linsey is also pregnant, due in March. So this is an extra exciting time for the Reed/Bollinger family. Chad casually called him mom to see how things were going.
After some small talk Chad says, “So, you are coming down in March for sure when Linsey has the baby right?”

“We sure are,” Sherri answers.

“Well, you better plan a trip for June too.”

“Really?” Sherri responds and immediately begins to cry. What a year for her. Both her children are happily married and expanding their own families. It’s proof that when she raised Linsey and Chad she definitely did something right.

Chad then proceeded to call his grandmother (Nan) in Clovis and tell a few people at work.
So far, at work, my pregnancy is under pretty tight wraps. Only three people know and they seem to be doing a great job keeping the secret. Telling my friends, however, was something I could not hold back on.

I called my great friend Abby first. She, along with my parents, was the only person who knew Chad and I had been trying to have a baby. We spent the last few months sharing websites, predictions and hopes for our futures. I call her in the middle of the day, very random. She happens to be at home. When I hear her voice I immediately knew she was very sick. I wanted to hang up and call back at a better time, but that would have been awkward and completely out of my norm. She would have known something was up. So I decide to proceed forward. After a few minutes of chit-chat and “oh my gosh, I can’t believe you are sick that sucks,” I finally say, “I went to the doctor this morning.”

That’s all she needed. She knew, she totally knew. She immediately begins to cry. I am surprised by her reaction, it was so genuine and raw. I knew she would be happy for me, but I didn’t expect her to be so overwhelmed by the announcement. It was truly touching and we are closer than ever. I can’t wait to continue having chats via g-mail that last for hours regarding all this crazy baby-ness.

I also told my good friend Kenna who is out in California. She was also beyond thrilled and completely supportive of this new venture I am embarking on. I was supposed to go out and see her the same weekend I went down to see my parents. But due to timing, heck—due to fate, I had to cancel my California trip and decided to go to New Mexico instead. It’s amazing how things work out sometimes.

I have been overwhelmed by the response Chad and I have received. It has been beautiful and such a blessing. I am so thankful that Chad and I have so many people in our lives that share our joy and want to be there to experience this amazing time in our lives.

Los Lunas Here I Come

So, for those of you who have known me for even just a second or two know that I am extremely close to my parents. Also, for those of you who have known me for even just a second or two know that I love to share a good story. So as you might imagine while the decision keep my pregnancy a secret from my parents until I could have face-to-face contact was an easy one, the execution proved to be much more difficult. Luckily, I did not have much of a wait. One week. However, it felt like an eternity. We talk on the phone constantly. What was I supposed to say when I had this great news bubbling inside of me? In fact, the day I got official confirmation from the doctor, October 20th, just so happened to be my parents 24th wedding anniversary. I couldn't think of a better gift to give them than the gift of a first grand baby. After all, I'm an only child. I am their only hope when it comes to grandparenthood.

As soon as Chad and I decided to expand our family I would spend much of my time thinking about how I would break the news to them. I wanted it to be perfect. It was almost like I was preparing for a proposal or something. I wanted to get it just right. I flew into Albuquerque extra early on the morning of October 24th. My parents excitedly picked me up at the airport, I was totally nervous and they didn't have a clue. It was breakfast time and we found ourselves driving to Einstein's Bagels. During the drive my dad said, as he often does, "I hope we get there soon. I'm about to starve to death." All I could think was, "Well, you're gonna have to wait a little longer."

Finally, we arrive. Initially I had thought about waiting until we got home to tell them. But I couldn't. I had already waited a week you really couldn't ask for more. So, as we get out of the car I say, "I know dad is starving, but I really want to give you guys your 'anniversary' card." So there we are in the parking lot of Einsteins Bagels and I hand them a card. It is absolutely precious. They pull the card out (my heart is racing) and it reads, "Sometimes the greatest joys..." Open. They are mesmerized. "Come in the tiniest packages. Congratulations" Then in my handwriting. "You are going to be GRANDPARENTS!!!"

The tears are flowing. It's the first time I've cried since the whole adventure began. They are overwhelmed and it played out exactly how I knew it would. Completely emotional, joyous and somewhat bittersweet since I am in Mesa and they are in Los Lunas. But I know distance won't matter when it comes to the relationships that will be built with this baby and mine and Chad's family--it's too special and too big.

The rest of the weekend was non-stop baby talk. I gave them all the updates, how we found out, how far along I was, baby items we are already secretly hoping for. My parents that weekend were attentive, sensitive and quick to take care of any need I had in order to keep the baby safe and sound. They have always been protective of me, but it was turned up a notch with safety hints all weekend long, "Don't text and walk; you might fall." "Drink juice for breakfast you need the vitamin C." "Don't let the dog jump all over you." "Be careful walking in those high hells." Their concern was adorable. I suddenly became the carrier of a very valued possession.

Their concern was only outdone by their need to spread the good news. My mom literally walked me to the neighbors to tell them proudly that she was going to be a grandma. It didn't matter how many people they told, each time there was a lump in their throat and a gleam in their eye. I thought, perhaps, an airplane might be rented and written across the Los Lunas sky would be, "The Chavez's Grandparents-To-Be and dang proud of it!" And I couldn't blame them, I really couldn't. My entire life I have received more love, attention, care, and guidance than anyone has the right to, I shouldn't expect an ounce less for my child.

It's Official!

After Chad and I definitively decided that I was in fact pregnant I knew I needed to get to a doctor immediately. However, we found out Friday evening, which meant that I had to wait until Monday to get to the doctor. How on earth was I supposed to wait that long? It was the first time in my whole life I wanted the weekend to hurry up and pass.

We spent most of the weekend online. Reading articles, looking at baby stuff from Wal-Mart (which has really nice stuff by the way), Babies-R-Us and Target. I read all about fetal development and tried to pin-point a conception date. We went over a million different scenarios. If I got pregnant on this day then I would be this far along and the baby would be due on this day. We were excited and gitty. It was absolutely adorable.

So I get to work Monday morning and I immediately call the doctor's office. I decided to go to a place called "New Horizon's Women's Care". A co-worker of mine went there when she delivered her first baby. I decided I wanted a practice that was 100% devoted to women's care. I got a same day appointment (how cool is that?) at 10:30. Holy cow--it seemed like forever.

When I arrived way too early, of course, I was immediately impressed. It was nice, quiet and new. I knew I had made the right decision. Not only that, but they saw me at my exact appointment time. That never happens. They took my height, weight and asked me a million questions. Then it was time for another test. I took the test and waited in the exam room. During this entire time Chad can not stop texting and calling me. He couldn't stand the anticipation.

The doctor come in and before she even sits down she says, "Well, congratulations. We're you planning this?"

My heart bursts with joy and I say, "Yes, we are very excited."

After the official confirmation it is just more questions. Her for me and me for her.

"I see here that you drink one soda a day," she says.

"I do."

"You've completely cut that out right?"

"Of course," I lie, I had a soda (cherry coke, my addiction the day before). I know caffeine is a no-no, so I do really need to stop. But still, no cherry coke for 9 months. Isn't that asking too much?

The doctor tells me I need to come back in two weeks for a general exam and then two weeks after that for the first ultra-sound! I leave with various brochures and info booklets and a prescription for a pre-natal vitamin. I also leave with a new perspective. I knew in that moment that everything was different and that my only concern now was to take care of this life, this miracle, inside me.

Two Pink Lines?

So…October 17th proved to be a monumental day in the life of Melissa and Chad Reed. The day I was supposed to get my period came and went and then more than a week passed by. Chad encouraged me to take a test, but I was hesitant, afraid to be disappointed and convinced that it was just my body adjusting to being off the pill for the first time in 7 years.

But despite my better judgment on Friday, October 17th I came home from work and took the all too dreaded First Response pregnancy test. I knew the 3 minute waiting would be torture. I changed from work clothes to Friday evening clothes and stared at Chad. Alas, the 3 minutes were up. Moment of truth.

I walk in the bathroom, Chad lingered in the hall.

“Well,” he says. I simply look at the test and back at him. “It’s nothing, it’s negative.”

“No, it’s flipped over, I can’t see the results.”

“Well, flip it over.”

So, I do. A look of shock must have ran across my face. He can’t take it anymore, he steps into the bathroom from the hall and looks down at the test. We both see the same thing…two pink lines, not subtle, not light, not thin…two very distinct pink lines.

“There’s two lines,” Chad says. “What does that mean?”

“I think it means I am pregnant.”

We both laugh in disbelief and pure shock. We stand there for another minute look back at the test and laugh some more.

Chad being Chad says, “You’re pregnant…Ha…Ha!”

Then a field of questions come pouring out of me, “What if I did it wrong?” “Are those really two pink lines?” “Maybe it says positive, but it’s wrong.”

So, there we are like a bunch of buffoons trying to figure out the inner-workings of a pregnancy test. We read and re-read the instructions, completely baffled. Is this really happening? Could we really be that lucky?

It’s time to take a breather. We head out to new restaurant in town—it’s a hesitant celebration. It was the most awkward dinner Chad and I have ever had. We don’t know what to talk about. We avoid eye-contact and when we do make eye-contact we simply crack up all over again. After dinner and some pretty boring bulk shopping at Sam’s Club, we head back home.

I need to take another test. The package came with 3 and I want to take another one, just to be sure. And yup, sure enough two pink lines. But we are still convinced that the two lines aren’t really two lines or that the test is a false positive. So to the internet we head. Google image search “positive pregnancy tests”. Yup sure enough, my lines are exactly the same as all other lines out there. We conclude the test is reading without a doubt positive. Good search “false positive pregnancy tests”. Our research shows that while false negatives are common because women take the test too soon false positives are truly rare and happen next to never. The test reads positive and the test isn’t wrong.

We got to bed that night knowing everything is about to change.

The Waiting Game

So, the decision had been made. We wanted a baby. Now we just needed to wait until I got pregnant. It's amazing, once you have made the decision to have a child everyday without one seems like an eternity. We wanted to be patient and take our time, no rush, no worries. But if you know me patience and lack of worrying are not my specialties. Still, this was such an exciting time for me and Chad--the anticipation was overwhelming and simply put...trying to get pregnant is a ton of fun!

We tried to remain calm, but everyday we found ourselves talking about the big "what if". What if I get pregnant soon? What if I don't? How will our lives change? It brought me and Chad closer than ever before. Chad has always wanted babies and I was always unsure. So, when I finally came around I knew it made him happy beyond belief.

I don't know exactly what is was that made me change my mind, it wasn't one thing, rather a series of moments that made me know that having a child with Chad would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. One moment in particular, we were at Chad's uncles and he was playing with his little cousin and seeing him play with a child filled me with such happiness, it was a foreign feeling, unexpected. But at that moment I knew I was a goner--I had caught it--Baby Fever!

The next few months passed and I tried to do everything I could to make my body as health as possible and capable of supporting another human being. I started a pre-natal vitamin, pumped up my exercise routine, cut out alcohol, added more veggies and fruits to my diet and of course spent more alone time with Chad. We did our part, the rest was up to nature and God.

Maybe Baby?

So, what seems like a million years ago, but was actually the beginning of June my husband Chad and I made the biggest decision of our entire lives. We decided it was time to add to our circle of love. I woke up one morning and I realized the love we had for each other couldn't be contained by just two people.

It was time. It was time to give ourselves a chance. We have been together for over 5 years, both have degrees, stable jobs and a home. The only thing missing was a little one. Yes, it is true we already do have a "child" our dog named Buster. But now it was time to have a real baby, one that didn't require a doggie door.

We were going to get off the pill and throw caution to the wind. We had a plan. We didn't want to turn this new adventure into work, we wanted to have fun and let nature take it's course.

So the adventure begins...