Thankful

It’s Thanksgiving and to say I have a lot to be thankful for would be an understatement. I often wonder how I managed to be so blessed. I am surrounded by amazing people. I married the greatest man on this planet and he puts up with all my shenanigans. I have parents who love me beyond measure and aren’t afraid to show it. I have friends that are supportive, caring and all around fun!

And if all that weren’t enough we have a baby on the way! I feel blessed that this beautiful baby will be in mine and Chad’s life in 7 months. I am so excited to be a mom and watch my child grow. I am certain that there will be challenges and hardships along the way, but I know our support system will help us through anything.

I know there I times I complain about my job, Chad’s job or that I don’t have enough money for all the things I want, but the simple truth is that I am blessed beyond measure and I am so thankful for that.

I want to give a shout out to those people who I am especially thankful for:

-My Husband Chad—I couldn’t get through the day without him. His constant support, understanding, patience and attention hold me together.

-My Mom Yvonne—She inspires me to be a better person and has been the greatest example of a wonderful mother.

-My Dad Ray—His passion and enthusiasm are unparalleled; he proves that a fathers love is unwavering and beyond measure.

-My Dear Dear Friend Abby Reed—We share more than just a last name. Her ability to “get me” is priceless and her support is undeniable.

-Chad’s Family—For never making me feel like an in-law.

-My Dear Dear Friend Kenna Stevens—Who inspires me to take risks and dare to be extraordinary.

-My Grandparents—Who obviously did something right because they have wonderful sons/daughters and grandchildren.

-My Dog Buster—Who teaches me to never take myself too seriously and to always savor every hug and every kiss.

Chad's B-Day

Today is Chad’s 31st Birthday! Happy Birthday to Chadders! I have a cake in the oven (his favorite--pineapple upside down) and am writing this as I wait for him to get home from work. We are going to go to Red Lobster for dinner. And then will wait up for my parents to get into town. My dad had to work today so they will be here about 9pm.

This is a very special birthday for Chad since we've got a bun in the oven. It’s amazing because our lives have emotionally and mentally changed so drastically over this past month, however, our daily routine hasn’t changed much. It will be amazing to see how different his next birthday will be; he’ll be getting a gift from his son or daughter. Everything since we found out we were expecting is so excitingly different.

For his b-day present I got him an acoustic guitar. He has been wanting one forever and I thought with a baby on the way it would be perfect. I got him an acoustic guitar kit; complete with a stand, strap and carrying case. Now he just has to learn how to play it! But he is super smart and really music savvy so I think he will be okay. I can't wait for Chad to play songs to me and the baby. That's totally cheesy, but it's true.

The Week Off

I have the whole week off of work. I am very excited about this. It will be a good time to rest up. Today I am cleaning the house since Thanksgiving will be at mine and Chad's house this year. Then at 5pm I am getting a massage. This is much needed. My back, neck and shoulders have been so sore lately. Chad gives me rubs to help me feel better but he doesn't have the stamina of a professional. I am sure massages will be my one vice during my pregnancy.

Tomorrow is Chadders 31st birthday! I am just going to chill at the house and wait for him to get home and take him to dinner. He will have a little surprise waiting for him when he gets home too! I also have a dentist appointment tomorrow which is pretty crappy, but I really need to get my teeth cleaned. My parents will be in late Tuesday night for the Thanksgiving weekend.

On Wednesday the parents and I will do a ton of shopping and finish getting ready for the Thanksgiving feast. I am sure the baby will consume mine and my parents entire conversation. Plus they haven't seen Chad since the big news broke so that will be really exciting. There may be tears shed all over again!

Got Rest?

Today I am officially upgrading myself from exhausted to extremely tired. Man, let me tell you…the first couple of months of pregnancy are so tiring. Apparently it takes a lot of energy to grow a person…who would have thought? This past month or so I simply couldn’t get enough sleep. Chad loved sleeping in on the weekends, but it was kind of annoying to be so tired all the time.

I’ve always prided myself on being naturally energetic. When I get to work in the morning I usually head straight to the break room and I find 5-6 people hovering around the coffee pot like vultures waiting for the pot to finish brewing. I would happily grab my cup of ice water and head out the door. I didn’t need caffeine to get me awake or keep me awake. But the last few weeks I felt like I needed a Starbucks IV drip; unfortunately for me caffeine is off limits. I would have to literally get up from my desk during work and walk around just to keep from falling asleep and bashing my head into the monitor. It was rough. I figured I was being prepared; because once the baby is born it will be at least 18 years until I have a day where I am un-tired.

But now, going into my 10th week I am starting to feel less exhausted. I am still really tired, but it is not as intense. Maybe it’s because I have been slacking and sleeping in an extra 15 minutes and consequently getting to work an extra 15 minutes later. Whatever the reason I am slowing starting to become my old self again. Thank goodness because tired Melissa was grouchy and mean—ask Chad! I am definitely looking forward to my second trimester where I get all my energy back and I finally start to feel the baby kick!

Distance

I’ve been thinking a lot about distance lately. The distance between two people; the distance to reach a goal. There are people in my life that are separated from me by distance, yet this distance makes little impact on the closeness between us. Whether separated by a street, a state or a continent the bond that is shared with these people triumphs over any number of miles between us.

I write this knowing that there are people in my life that I don’t get to spend as much physical time with as I would like, but I am not discouraged by this; rather I remain optimistic and confident that our love will survive any distance, test or misunderstanding. The truth is love doesn’t grow weaker because of miles but rather a gradual giving up by both parties.

Now that Chad and I are starting a family of our own I remain more committed than ever to keeping those who mean the most close to us. I recognize that distance is not an easy obstacle to overcome however I’ve always believed that love can bridge any physical space between two people.

I remain thankful for airplanes, cars, cell phones, e-mail, webcams, blogs, myspace and youtube; for these help close the distance.

This Weekend

This past weekend Chad and I spent some time looking at baby stuff! We had a great time; although Chad was a bit overwhelmed by the enormity of BabiesRUs. On Friday night we went to the mall because I wanted to go to Motherhood Maternity. I was on a quest to get a “belly belt” and, of course, I was able to find one there. Let me tell you the “belly belt” is the greatest invention ever! It’s like a spandex that you wear around your waist that allows you to wear your pre-pregnancy clothes for a lot longer. The “belly belt” let’s you keep your pants unbuttoned and still hold everything in place. Chad called it a girdle, but I feel more comfortable using the term “belly belt”—it sounds cuter. So now I’ve been wearing pants and jeans that I haven’t been able to fit into long before I even got pregnant. It’s great for the self-esteem!

On Saturday we went to BabiesRUs. That store is massive, it has everything. Holy cow! It’s amazing how much stuff they can make for babies and believe me I wanted it all. Chad makes fun of me and says that I want 5 different things for the baby to sleep in. But I can’t help it. I don’t know what is needed and what isn’t…so I’ll just take it all. It was a great way to look around and get an idea of what we will register for. I have been looking online non-stop since I found out I was preggers, but it is so much nicer to be able to touch and feel the products I will be registering for. We found a bib that says “tax break”—isn’t that the funniest thing ever?!?! I’m totally gonna get it. It’s just so much fun looking at everything and deciding what we want. It makes it all so real. I am sure Chad will endure several more trips to the BabiesRUs before all this is over, but luckily for me he is such a good sport and goes along with basically whatever I want. Go Chad.

A First Peek At Baby Reed

WOW! Yesterday was amazing…absolutely amazing. I can’t get over it. I really can’t. It was one of the most awesome-est experiences in my whole life. Sharing the moment with my amazing husband made it all the more special. We got to the doctor’s office and I was filled with such nervousness and anticipation. It was a big, big day for The Reeds and all of our family and friends. Everyone we know have been such cheerleaders for us. It’s so awesome to get to share this amazing experience with so many people who love and support us. I’ve never felt more blessed in my whole life.

The doctor’s office was set up really nice; there was a big 32 inch plasma in the corner so that Chad and I could see everything clearly. So I am laying there and the ultrasound tech is positioning the device (since I am so early they didn’t do the ultrasound on my belly, they used other means…think about it. Enough said) and suddenly an image is on the screen. Holy cow! It’s our baby and the image is crystal clear and the heart is beating rapidly and it’s beautiful. I couldn’t believe it. I immediately begin laughing and Chad gives me a giant high five. All I could say the entire time was, “that’s crazy.” I must have said “that’s crazy” a million times. But it was crazy, it really was. It was unbelievable. Gosh, I still can’t get over it.

The ultrasound tech took some measurements and determined that I was 8 weeks, 5 days and gave me a new tentative due date of June 19th. Yup, it’s going to be nice and sizzling hot when I am 9 months pregnant. The baby’s heart rate was 162; perfectly normal. The baby is a whooping 2 centimeters. It is amazing that the baby is only 2 centimeters and all organs are developed and movement has already begun. I cannot feel any kicks or moves yet, but on screen our baby is super hyper; moving and dancing already! Amazing. Everything, so far, is good and Chad and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Wow.

First Ultrasound Today!

The first ultrasound is today! We are so excited, I feel like we have been waiting for this day forever. Once the initial shock and excitement of being pregnant wore off an unexpected fear began to set in. A million different scenarios raced through our heads and suddenly we started to feel a bit panicky. We just want everything to be okay. We just want a healthy baby.

That’s why we can’t wait for this ultrasound. It will be real scientific/visual/auditory proof that there is a baby growing inside me. It’s still sometimes hard to grasp the concept that I am in fact pregnant; just because the changes that have happened have been subtle at best. I haven’t thrown up, not even once (most would consider me lucky), I’ve haven’t really gained any weight and my stomach looks exactly the same. The only real evidence is a positive pregnancy test.

This is a scary time, but I hate feeling paranoid and overly worried. I try to remain calm and tell myself that I am young, healthy and do not engage in behaviors that could cause anything bad to happen to myself or the baby. Still, when I read statistics like “50% of pregnancies in the first four weeks result in miscarriage and 20% of all pregnancies after week 4 result in a miscarriage” it freaks me out a little; because 20% is high to me.

My appointment is at 3pm. Chad is meeting me there. I can’t wait. I will be anxious all day and counting the minutes. I am sure I will get there beyond early. Good thing they always see me on time. I will say this…beyond the fear lies an extreme amount of excitement and I am going to try to focus on that today.

The Reeds

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I'm Starving!

I write this as I am eating a giant bowl of fruit salad that Chad lovingly made for me yesterday; and it is really hitting the spot. It’s 10:13am, I usually don’t have my morning snack until 10:45 or so, but I am starving right now. I am always starving. Here’s the routine. I eat. I get full. Two hours pass. I am starving all over again. I do get fuller faster.

This is good because it means baby is growing! But at the same time I don’t want to be the size of a house come delivery day. That’s why I decided to really kick up the fruits and veggie consumption. I figure I can’t go wrong with those two; they have great nutritional value and next to no fat.

The doctor says I can expect to gain anywhere between 20 and 40 pounds. I would really like to stay on the 20 side. So far, I have gain 1.5 pounds, it doesn’t sound like a lot and most of it is in my boobs (Chad is very happy), I just want to make sure I keep the weight gain in check. Extra weight is not healthy for me or baby.

It’s just amazing how quickly changes begin to occur; my appetite, my bra size and I just feel different in general.

“The Peanut”

Since we found out I was pregnant our baby has been affectionately referred to as “Peanut.” We use the name Peanut for a few reasons. One: the baby is very small right now; much like a peanut. Two, and more importantly, we use the name Peanut as a tribute to Chad’s Grandfather Bill Bollinger, known by most simply as Pop. Peanut was Pop’s nickname for me. Every time he saw me he would say, “Well, hey there Peanut,” and give me a great big giant hug.

In the beginning of August, just one month after Chad and I decided to start a family of our own Pop passed away suddenly of a heart attack. To those who knew Pop this was a sudden shock; he was healthy and active and most of us thought he would out live us all. We, as a family, are still grieving and finding comfort in each other.

Isn’t it strange how the most joyous times often cause us to reflect on those we have lost and make our hearts ache a little? I know my side of the family has also shared in losing a much loved member of the family. Back in 2002, my mother’s father, Remiy Chavez, passed away at the very young age of 56. Though several years have gone by since his passing he remains a constant fixture in our daily conversation and thoughts.

It saddens me deeply to know that there are people in my life who I love very much, like Pop and my Grandpa Reimy, that I will not be able to see hold my baby, but it gives me great peace to know that they were able to hold my baby long before I ever did, in heaven, before our PEANUT came down to earth to be with me and Chad.

“Yes, we DID!”

Proud. That one word sums up my entire mood today. Proud. I am beyond proud to be an American today. Last night was historical, and regardless of party affiliation or candidate support there can be no denying that the election of Senator Barack Obama is one of the shining moments in American history. As of 8:59 pm the biggest and most historical event in my life had been the terrorist attacks of September 11th. That changed for the better at 9:00 pm when it was announced that Sen. Obama had surpassed the 270 electoral votes needed to become president elect. The announcement brought me to tears and as I write this I still have a lump in my throat.

On August 28, 1963 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr gave his historic “I Have A Dream Speech.” Now, 45 years later that dream has been realized. In less than 50 years our country has made significant strides towards abolishing racism and providing equal rights for all. As Sen. Obama stated in his victory speech from Grant Park in Chicago, Illinois, there is still much work to be done and it won’t happen overnight, but our country proved last night that change is possible and change is happening. Change is happening now.

I am so thrilled that our baby will be born to an Obama administration. I feel Barack Obama is the right person for the job and I feel he will bring prosperity to our lives and our country. I am so happy that our baby will be born in a world where anything is possible and anyone can be anything. It is a great time to be an American and it is a great time to bring a new life into the world.

Doctor Visit: 11/03/2008

Our first doctor’s visit was yesterday. Nothing major happened, well, I fainted, but I’ll get to that later. Chad met me there. He was super adorable and completely out of his element. He was surrounded by so many women, including the staff. I’m excited he is making such an effort to be there with me and be involved.

Once again, I was seen at my exact appointment time and considering my appointment was at 4pm I was especially impressed. I remain 100% convinced that I choose the right place for the preparation and birth of our child. I love that the facility completely caters to women’s needs; it makes me feel like they are experts. The doctors and nursing staff are very friendly, concerned and willing and able to answer any questions I may have. I also think that Chandler Regional Hospital, where I will deliver, is going to be a great hospital. We left the office with stacks and stacks of reading materials, coupons and guides to all the baby and maternity stores in the Phoenix area. Lots of homework awaits us!

The actual visit was very routine. The doctor did a quick exam and went over any questions I may have, which I didn’t—I’ve been doing too much internet research. However, I did find out that my uterus is getting bigger! That means a growing baby! I am very excited about this. The doctor said my first ultrasound could be scheduled for next week! So, our first ultra sound will be on Wednesday, November 12th—I cannot wait for this. Baby development will be monitored and a more accurate due date will be determined. I also got another appointment scheduled for December 1st. The December 1st visit is just another routine visit. I can’t believe how often they want to see you—I’ve never been to the doctor this often in my life!

After the exam was over I had to do some blood work. I hate blood work, absolutely hate blood work. I would rather get 100 pap’s than 1 vial of blood taken from me. Just thinking back on the whole experience from yesterday gives me chills. The nurse begins to draw blood; it felt like forever. I buried my head into my shoulder the entire time. It wasn’t ending. Finally, it was over. I look down and there are 5…5 vials of blood. They drained me dry! I get up and walk to the checkout counter. Suddenly I start to sweat profusely, like just ran a marathon sweat, and suddenly everything gets extremely blurry and my head is light. I feel myself losing it. I stumble to where Chad is sitting and slump next to him. I remain in this state for a good 3 to 5 minutes. It’s awful. After some time and deep breathes I finally recover, but my head is killing me. By the time I get home I am feeling 100% recovered and I know it’s all worth it. But, man, I sure hope I don’t have to do blood work again anytime soon.

Doctor Appointment Today

We (I say “we” because I want Chad to be 100% involved in the entire process) have a doctor’s appointment today! It’s not a big doctor appointment or anything—a physical will be performed and some blood work will be done. We are anxiously awaiting the first ultrasound visit, which will be two to three weeks from now. I cannot wait for the first ultrasound. It will be such a relief to hear the thud-thud-thud of our baby’s heartbeat. I feel I will finally be able to relax at that point and take in a deep breath.

I am still excited for this visit. It is just confirmation that all of this is really happening. And I do have a few questions for the doctor like, “will this exhaustion ever end?” And it will be good for Chad to meet the doctors and get an idea of what to expect in the next coming weeks and months. Bless his heart; Chad has been putting up with my tired and moodiness exceptionally well. He is sweet and supportive, I really couldn’t ask for more. He is even going to do the pregnancy yoga DVD’s with me.

Start Spreading The News

Ironically, my parents were basically the last to know about my pregnancy. I waited a week to tell them in person, but that didn’t mean I could possibly wait any longer to tell other people. Chad could no longer keep the news to himself either. So, Monday, a whole 5 days before my parents found out, the news started to spread.

Once I got confirmation from the doctor Chad was immediately on the phone to his mom, Sherri, in Clovis. Chad’s little sister Linsey is also pregnant, due in March. So this is an extra exciting time for the Reed/Bollinger family. Chad casually called him mom to see how things were going.
After some small talk Chad says, “So, you are coming down in March for sure when Linsey has the baby right?”

“We sure are,” Sherri answers.

“Well, you better plan a trip for June too.”

“Really?” Sherri responds and immediately begins to cry. What a year for her. Both her children are happily married and expanding their own families. It’s proof that when she raised Linsey and Chad she definitely did something right.

Chad then proceeded to call his grandmother (Nan) in Clovis and tell a few people at work.
So far, at work, my pregnancy is under pretty tight wraps. Only three people know and they seem to be doing a great job keeping the secret. Telling my friends, however, was something I could not hold back on.

I called my great friend Abby first. She, along with my parents, was the only person who knew Chad and I had been trying to have a baby. We spent the last few months sharing websites, predictions and hopes for our futures. I call her in the middle of the day, very random. She happens to be at home. When I hear her voice I immediately knew she was very sick. I wanted to hang up and call back at a better time, but that would have been awkward and completely out of my norm. She would have known something was up. So I decide to proceed forward. After a few minutes of chit-chat and “oh my gosh, I can’t believe you are sick that sucks,” I finally say, “I went to the doctor this morning.”

That’s all she needed. She knew, she totally knew. She immediately begins to cry. I am surprised by her reaction, it was so genuine and raw. I knew she would be happy for me, but I didn’t expect her to be so overwhelmed by the announcement. It was truly touching and we are closer than ever. I can’t wait to continue having chats via g-mail that last for hours regarding all this crazy baby-ness.

I also told my good friend Kenna who is out in California. She was also beyond thrilled and completely supportive of this new venture I am embarking on. I was supposed to go out and see her the same weekend I went down to see my parents. But due to timing, heck—due to fate, I had to cancel my California trip and decided to go to New Mexico instead. It’s amazing how things work out sometimes.

I have been overwhelmed by the response Chad and I have received. It has been beautiful and such a blessing. I am so thankful that Chad and I have so many people in our lives that share our joy and want to be there to experience this amazing time in our lives.

Los Lunas Here I Come

So, for those of you who have known me for even just a second or two know that I am extremely close to my parents. Also, for those of you who have known me for even just a second or two know that I love to share a good story. So as you might imagine while the decision keep my pregnancy a secret from my parents until I could have face-to-face contact was an easy one, the execution proved to be much more difficult. Luckily, I did not have much of a wait. One week. However, it felt like an eternity. We talk on the phone constantly. What was I supposed to say when I had this great news bubbling inside of me? In fact, the day I got official confirmation from the doctor, October 20th, just so happened to be my parents 24th wedding anniversary. I couldn't think of a better gift to give them than the gift of a first grand baby. After all, I'm an only child. I am their only hope when it comes to grandparenthood.

As soon as Chad and I decided to expand our family I would spend much of my time thinking about how I would break the news to them. I wanted it to be perfect. It was almost like I was preparing for a proposal or something. I wanted to get it just right. I flew into Albuquerque extra early on the morning of October 24th. My parents excitedly picked me up at the airport, I was totally nervous and they didn't have a clue. It was breakfast time and we found ourselves driving to Einstein's Bagels. During the drive my dad said, as he often does, "I hope we get there soon. I'm about to starve to death." All I could think was, "Well, you're gonna have to wait a little longer."

Finally, we arrive. Initially I had thought about waiting until we got home to tell them. But I couldn't. I had already waited a week you really couldn't ask for more. So, as we get out of the car I say, "I know dad is starving, but I really want to give you guys your 'anniversary' card." So there we are in the parking lot of Einsteins Bagels and I hand them a card. It is absolutely precious. They pull the card out (my heart is racing) and it reads, "Sometimes the greatest joys..." Open. They are mesmerized. "Come in the tiniest packages. Congratulations" Then in my handwriting. "You are going to be GRANDPARENTS!!!"

The tears are flowing. It's the first time I've cried since the whole adventure began. They are overwhelmed and it played out exactly how I knew it would. Completely emotional, joyous and somewhat bittersweet since I am in Mesa and they are in Los Lunas. But I know distance won't matter when it comes to the relationships that will be built with this baby and mine and Chad's family--it's too special and too big.

The rest of the weekend was non-stop baby talk. I gave them all the updates, how we found out, how far along I was, baby items we are already secretly hoping for. My parents that weekend were attentive, sensitive and quick to take care of any need I had in order to keep the baby safe and sound. They have always been protective of me, but it was turned up a notch with safety hints all weekend long, "Don't text and walk; you might fall." "Drink juice for breakfast you need the vitamin C." "Don't let the dog jump all over you." "Be careful walking in those high hells." Their concern was adorable. I suddenly became the carrier of a very valued possession.

Their concern was only outdone by their need to spread the good news. My mom literally walked me to the neighbors to tell them proudly that she was going to be a grandma. It didn't matter how many people they told, each time there was a lump in their throat and a gleam in their eye. I thought, perhaps, an airplane might be rented and written across the Los Lunas sky would be, "The Chavez's Grandparents-To-Be and dang proud of it!" And I couldn't blame them, I really couldn't. My entire life I have received more love, attention, care, and guidance than anyone has the right to, I shouldn't expect an ounce less for my child.

It's Official!

After Chad and I definitively decided that I was in fact pregnant I knew I needed to get to a doctor immediately. However, we found out Friday evening, which meant that I had to wait until Monday to get to the doctor. How on earth was I supposed to wait that long? It was the first time in my whole life I wanted the weekend to hurry up and pass.

We spent most of the weekend online. Reading articles, looking at baby stuff from Wal-Mart (which has really nice stuff by the way), Babies-R-Us and Target. I read all about fetal development and tried to pin-point a conception date. We went over a million different scenarios. If I got pregnant on this day then I would be this far along and the baby would be due on this day. We were excited and gitty. It was absolutely adorable.

So I get to work Monday morning and I immediately call the doctor's office. I decided to go to a place called "New Horizon's Women's Care". A co-worker of mine went there when she delivered her first baby. I decided I wanted a practice that was 100% devoted to women's care. I got a same day appointment (how cool is that?) at 10:30. Holy cow--it seemed like forever.

When I arrived way too early, of course, I was immediately impressed. It was nice, quiet and new. I knew I had made the right decision. Not only that, but they saw me at my exact appointment time. That never happens. They took my height, weight and asked me a million questions. Then it was time for another test. I took the test and waited in the exam room. During this entire time Chad can not stop texting and calling me. He couldn't stand the anticipation.

The doctor come in and before she even sits down she says, "Well, congratulations. We're you planning this?"

My heart bursts with joy and I say, "Yes, we are very excited."

After the official confirmation it is just more questions. Her for me and me for her.

"I see here that you drink one soda a day," she says.

"I do."

"You've completely cut that out right?"

"Of course," I lie, I had a soda (cherry coke, my addiction the day before). I know caffeine is a no-no, so I do really need to stop. But still, no cherry coke for 9 months. Isn't that asking too much?

The doctor tells me I need to come back in two weeks for a general exam and then two weeks after that for the first ultra-sound! I leave with various brochures and info booklets and a prescription for a pre-natal vitamin. I also leave with a new perspective. I knew in that moment that everything was different and that my only concern now was to take care of this life, this miracle, inside me.

Two Pink Lines?

So…October 17th proved to be a monumental day in the life of Melissa and Chad Reed. The day I was supposed to get my period came and went and then more than a week passed by. Chad encouraged me to take a test, but I was hesitant, afraid to be disappointed and convinced that it was just my body adjusting to being off the pill for the first time in 7 years.

But despite my better judgment on Friday, October 17th I came home from work and took the all too dreaded First Response pregnancy test. I knew the 3 minute waiting would be torture. I changed from work clothes to Friday evening clothes and stared at Chad. Alas, the 3 minutes were up. Moment of truth.

I walk in the bathroom, Chad lingered in the hall.

“Well,” he says. I simply look at the test and back at him. “It’s nothing, it’s negative.”

“No, it’s flipped over, I can’t see the results.”

“Well, flip it over.”

So, I do. A look of shock must have ran across my face. He can’t take it anymore, he steps into the bathroom from the hall and looks down at the test. We both see the same thing…two pink lines, not subtle, not light, not thin…two very distinct pink lines.

“There’s two lines,” Chad says. “What does that mean?”

“I think it means I am pregnant.”

We both laugh in disbelief and pure shock. We stand there for another minute look back at the test and laugh some more.

Chad being Chad says, “You’re pregnant…Ha…Ha!”

Then a field of questions come pouring out of me, “What if I did it wrong?” “Are those really two pink lines?” “Maybe it says positive, but it’s wrong.”

So, there we are like a bunch of buffoons trying to figure out the inner-workings of a pregnancy test. We read and re-read the instructions, completely baffled. Is this really happening? Could we really be that lucky?

It’s time to take a breather. We head out to new restaurant in town—it’s a hesitant celebration. It was the most awkward dinner Chad and I have ever had. We don’t know what to talk about. We avoid eye-contact and when we do make eye-contact we simply crack up all over again. After dinner and some pretty boring bulk shopping at Sam’s Club, we head back home.

I need to take another test. The package came with 3 and I want to take another one, just to be sure. And yup, sure enough two pink lines. But we are still convinced that the two lines aren’t really two lines or that the test is a false positive. So to the internet we head. Google image search “positive pregnancy tests”. Yup sure enough, my lines are exactly the same as all other lines out there. We conclude the test is reading without a doubt positive. Good search “false positive pregnancy tests”. Our research shows that while false negatives are common because women take the test too soon false positives are truly rare and happen next to never. The test reads positive and the test isn’t wrong.

We got to bed that night knowing everything is about to change.

The Waiting Game

So, the decision had been made. We wanted a baby. Now we just needed to wait until I got pregnant. It's amazing, once you have made the decision to have a child everyday without one seems like an eternity. We wanted to be patient and take our time, no rush, no worries. But if you know me patience and lack of worrying are not my specialties. Still, this was such an exciting time for me and Chad--the anticipation was overwhelming and simply put...trying to get pregnant is a ton of fun!

We tried to remain calm, but everyday we found ourselves talking about the big "what if". What if I get pregnant soon? What if I don't? How will our lives change? It brought me and Chad closer than ever before. Chad has always wanted babies and I was always unsure. So, when I finally came around I knew it made him happy beyond belief.

I don't know exactly what is was that made me change my mind, it wasn't one thing, rather a series of moments that made me know that having a child with Chad would be the greatest thing that ever happened to me. One moment in particular, we were at Chad's uncles and he was playing with his little cousin and seeing him play with a child filled me with such happiness, it was a foreign feeling, unexpected. But at that moment I knew I was a goner--I had caught it--Baby Fever!

The next few months passed and I tried to do everything I could to make my body as health as possible and capable of supporting another human being. I started a pre-natal vitamin, pumped up my exercise routine, cut out alcohol, added more veggies and fruits to my diet and of course spent more alone time with Chad. We did our part, the rest was up to nature and God.

Maybe Baby?

So, what seems like a million years ago, but was actually the beginning of June my husband Chad and I made the biggest decision of our entire lives. We decided it was time to add to our circle of love. I woke up one morning and I realized the love we had for each other couldn't be contained by just two people.

It was time. It was time to give ourselves a chance. We have been together for over 5 years, both have degrees, stable jobs and a home. The only thing missing was a little one. Yes, it is true we already do have a "child" our dog named Buster. But now it was time to have a real baby, one that didn't require a doggie door.

We were going to get off the pill and throw caution to the wind. We had a plan. We didn't want to turn this new adventure into work, we wanted to have fun and let nature take it's course.

So the adventure begins...