As I write this Chad's mom is on an airplane heading to Phoenix. Chad's sister is going to be having her baby soon, very soon. As of yesterday she was two centimeters dialated. She isn't in labor or anything, but I imagine she will be having the baby any day now. She is due on March 14th. So it looks like baby Kale is coming to meet everyone a little sooner than expected.
Wow! I can't believe it. This is really all happening. Linsey will have her baby and in three short months we will be welcoming Baby Cayden into this world. And all of our lives will be so incredibley different than they were just a short year ago.
I must admit hearing that Linsey will be giving birth soon put me into a slight panic attack. Because I realize how soon I will also be giving birth. The truth is: not matter how babies are born (naturally or c-section) it ain't pretty; it's graphic and it does a number on a women's body.
But it's only 1 day and it will be worth it; so worth it. I am so excited and anxious to finally get to be with baby Cayden. He is going to be (to steal Abby's word) delicious!
The arrival of baby Kale means that our baby preperation plans will be put on a slight delay. Chad is still working on finalizing the nursury, however, he will be totally occupied with his family over the couple of weeks (I don't blame him) so I doubt that he will have any time to work on it.
But if this experience has taught us anything it's that babies don't conform to any type of schedule.
Only 11 to 15 weeks to go!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Chinese Superstitions
It continues to amaze me how people (some total strangers) are so willing and anxious to dispense pregnancy advice. I don’t mind people giving me advice or even sharing horror birth stories with me. I take it all in stride and get a good laugh out of most of it.
The other day at the gym I got my most unusual and funny pregnancy advice to date. I was changing and another lady in the locker room looks to me and says, “Are you pregnant?” Of course I answer, “Yes.”
I have never really talked to this lady before. She is usually arriving as I am leaving and the most we’ve ever said to each other is the casual hello. However, once she gets confirmation that I am pregnant she feels that this is a good time to have a full-blown conversation. She grew up in China and recently moved to the United States and now works in the IT department at University of Phoenix.
She asks me if I am having a boy or a girl. I tell her boy. She is thrilled with this news and proceeds to tell me how incredibly lucky I am to be getting a boy and that since this is the Year of the Ox my son will be very smart and very stubborn.
She then proceeds to tell me all about Chinese superstitions regarding pregnancy. It was really hard to keep a straight face during some of them.
- Don’t lift your arms above your head because this causes pre-term labor
-Stop wearing your wedding ring after month five because it causes extra weight gain
-Wearing a bracelet or necklace causes the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby’s neck
She was very insistent that I follow these rules in order to have a healthy baby. I think I am going to take my chances and keep reaching for items on the top shelf of my pantry, I won’t stop wearing my wedding ring and I simply cannot live without my watch and necklace.
Like I said, I take it all in stride and get a good laugh along the way.
The other day at the gym I got my most unusual and funny pregnancy advice to date. I was changing and another lady in the locker room looks to me and says, “Are you pregnant?” Of course I answer, “Yes.”
I have never really talked to this lady before. She is usually arriving as I am leaving and the most we’ve ever said to each other is the casual hello. However, once she gets confirmation that I am pregnant she feels that this is a good time to have a full-blown conversation. She grew up in China and recently moved to the United States and now works in the IT department at University of Phoenix.
She asks me if I am having a boy or a girl. I tell her boy. She is thrilled with this news and proceeds to tell me how incredibly lucky I am to be getting a boy and that since this is the Year of the Ox my son will be very smart and very stubborn.
She then proceeds to tell me all about Chinese superstitions regarding pregnancy. It was really hard to keep a straight face during some of them.
- Don’t lift your arms above your head because this causes pre-term labor
-Stop wearing your wedding ring after month five because it causes extra weight gain
-Wearing a bracelet or necklace causes the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby’s neck
She was very insistent that I follow these rules in order to have a healthy baby. I think I am going to take my chances and keep reaching for items on the top shelf of my pantry, I won’t stop wearing my wedding ring and I simply cannot live without my watch and necklace.
Like I said, I take it all in stride and get a good laugh along the way.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
It's Getting Hot In Here
Living in Phoenix certainly has is advantages; great shopping, great eating, every professional sport imaginable, beautiful winters. However, this is one notable trait that Phoenix has that makes me wonder why 6 million people choose to live here...it's flipping *HOT* in the summers!
I take that back. It's not hot in the summers. It's hot in Spring, Summer and most of Fall. That's right, for about 7 months the weather is sizzling. And the sizzle has begun. It's supposed to be 88 on Sunday. I know that 88 is bearable, but 88 on March 1st seems a little ridiculous to me. We were hitting the 80s in January, but luckily a cool spell hit us in February.
Also, let me put 88 in the perspective of being close to 6 months pregnant. On Saturday I was out shopping with my friend from Tucson and my sister-in-law. It was 80 degrees. Yet, I somehow managed to sweat like a pig. I think I am going to have to throw away the shirt I was wearing. It got such bad pit stains...I don't think they will ever come out. I was dying for a pair of shorts, a tank top and flip flops. Heck, I would have jumped in a pool on February 21st if one had been available. The movie theatre felt hot to me; movie theatres are never hot.
I am in for a world of hurt over these next few months. It's only going to get hotter and I am only going to get bigger. Chad's uncle has generously offered his pool to me. He says I have full access to it 24/7. I imagine he will be regretting that decision come the beginning of June, because I am planning on *living* in that pool.
I can't wait to take my first dive in. He is having it re-stuccoed right now. The pool will be a lifesaver. It will cool me and help me carry some of the baby weight.
I'll let you know when we get our first triple digit day. I imagine it will be sooner rather than later. You will have to keep Chad in your prayers, because I am one very grumpy person when I get overly hot. Bless him for his patience and understanding.
Oh yeah, we officially started using the A/C again last night. A/C and a fan. Can you believe it? I am sure the A/C will be broken by June and the electric bill will be about a thousand dollars.
Yea, for nine months pregnant in June in Phoenix.
I take that back. It's not hot in the summers. It's hot in Spring, Summer and most of Fall. That's right, for about 7 months the weather is sizzling. And the sizzle has begun. It's supposed to be 88 on Sunday. I know that 88 is bearable, but 88 on March 1st seems a little ridiculous to me. We were hitting the 80s in January, but luckily a cool spell hit us in February.
Also, let me put 88 in the perspective of being close to 6 months pregnant. On Saturday I was out shopping with my friend from Tucson and my sister-in-law. It was 80 degrees. Yet, I somehow managed to sweat like a pig. I think I am going to have to throw away the shirt I was wearing. It got such bad pit stains...I don't think they will ever come out. I was dying for a pair of shorts, a tank top and flip flops. Heck, I would have jumped in a pool on February 21st if one had been available. The movie theatre felt hot to me; movie theatres are never hot.
I am in for a world of hurt over these next few months. It's only going to get hotter and I am only going to get bigger. Chad's uncle has generously offered his pool to me. He says I have full access to it 24/7. I imagine he will be regretting that decision come the beginning of June, because I am planning on *living* in that pool.
I can't wait to take my first dive in. He is having it re-stuccoed right now. The pool will be a lifesaver. It will cool me and help me carry some of the baby weight.
I'll let you know when we get our first triple digit day. I imagine it will be sooner rather than later. You will have to keep Chad in your prayers, because I am one very grumpy person when I get overly hot. Bless him for his patience and understanding.
Oh yeah, we officially started using the A/C again last night. A/C and a fan. Can you believe it? I am sure the A/C will be broken by June and the electric bill will be about a thousand dollars.
Yea, for nine months pregnant in June in Phoenix.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Updates
Update #1
Chad and I are going to be an uncle and aunt very soon. Chad’s little sister Linsey is getting ready to have her little boy, Kale Everett. She is due on March 14th; which means any day now. I can’t believe how drastically different the family will be in just a few months…two new little boys. Chad’s mom, grandma, cousin and cousin’s son are all driving down from Clovis on March 7th. They are staying for a week and leaving on the 14th. If Linsey hasn’t had the baby by then Chad’s mom will stay until she does and help out for a few days. Then everyone will be back sometime in June for the arrival of Cayden James.
Update #2
Chad is making great progress on the nursery. He is almost done re-dry walling all the walls. Once that is complete he will texture the walls and we will add crown molding and paint. The room is rectangle shaped. We are going to paint the two short walls a nice denim blue color and paint the two long walls a nice cream color. It’s going to look gorgeous. Once the walls are completed and painted we are going to install the hardwood floors. Then it is time to set up the crib and decorate. I am hoping that the room is complete (except for the decorating) by the time I have my baby shower (March 21st in Los Lunas, New Mexico). However, it might not happen because as I mentioned earlier Chad’s family will be in town for two weeks and he wants to spend as much time with them as possible. However, we have to remind ourselves that the baby will be here in about 15 weeks or as early as 11. So we really need get a move on!
Update #3
We had an ultrasound yesterday and Cayden is looking gorgeous and getting bigger and stronger every day. He now weighs 1 pound 5 ounces. The doctor said that he is progressing very normal; which means she expects him to weight 7 and a half pounds at birth. Chad is convinced that I am going to need a c-section. This is probably true. However, I’m not going to let the doctor schedule one. I am going to let labor start and *attempt* to push him out. And if I can’t; I can’t. But I don’t want them to go in and get him *before* he’s ready to come out. I think Cayden is going to grow up and be big and tall. His feet are already two inches! He’s outgrowing the booties my parents bought him and he’s still in the womb!
Chad and I are going to be an uncle and aunt very soon. Chad’s little sister Linsey is getting ready to have her little boy, Kale Everett. She is due on March 14th; which means any day now. I can’t believe how drastically different the family will be in just a few months…two new little boys. Chad’s mom, grandma, cousin and cousin’s son are all driving down from Clovis on March 7th. They are staying for a week and leaving on the 14th. If Linsey hasn’t had the baby by then Chad’s mom will stay until she does and help out for a few days. Then everyone will be back sometime in June for the arrival of Cayden James.
Update #2
Chad is making great progress on the nursery. He is almost done re-dry walling all the walls. Once that is complete he will texture the walls and we will add crown molding and paint. The room is rectangle shaped. We are going to paint the two short walls a nice denim blue color and paint the two long walls a nice cream color. It’s going to look gorgeous. Once the walls are completed and painted we are going to install the hardwood floors. Then it is time to set up the crib and decorate. I am hoping that the room is complete (except for the decorating) by the time I have my baby shower (March 21st in Los Lunas, New Mexico). However, it might not happen because as I mentioned earlier Chad’s family will be in town for two weeks and he wants to spend as much time with them as possible. However, we have to remind ourselves that the baby will be here in about 15 weeks or as early as 11. So we really need get a move on!
Update #3
We had an ultrasound yesterday and Cayden is looking gorgeous and getting bigger and stronger every day. He now weighs 1 pound 5 ounces. The doctor said that he is progressing very normal; which means she expects him to weight 7 and a half pounds at birth. Chad is convinced that I am going to need a c-section. This is probably true. However, I’m not going to let the doctor schedule one. I am going to let labor start and *attempt* to push him out. And if I can’t; I can’t. But I don’t want them to go in and get him *before* he’s ready to come out. I think Cayden is going to grow up and be big and tall. His feet are already two inches! He’s outgrowing the booties my parents bought him and he’s still in the womb!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Cayden *Loves* His Daddy
Baby boy Cayden is completely in love with his daddy and I find it absolutely adorable. Cayden simply cannot get enough of Chad rubbing him. It’s amazing, absolutely amazing. Cayden *reacts* to Chad; he *knows* that Chad is his daddy.
Even if Cayden is being very still and quiet (sleeping probably) and Chad puts his hands on my belly Cayden will immediate wake up and wiggle his way towards Chad’s hand. This happens instantly—Cayden will be curled up at Chad’s hands within seconds. It doesn’t matter where Chad puts his hands or what else is going on Cayden will find his way to where Chad is touching me.
Once Cayden gets to Chad’s hand he just dances and dances and dances. It’s like he’s reaching out to Chad wanting to hold his hand or be held. It’s amazing. Last night as well feel asleep we thought Cayden was going to bust out of my skin he was kicking so hard.
I know I’ve said the word amazing like a million times already, but it is. I can’t get over how aware babies are in the womb. I love that Chad and Cayden are able to bond before they even meet. It feels me with great joy to have Chad experiencing this great journey with me.
Even if Cayden is being very still and quiet (sleeping probably) and Chad puts his hands on my belly Cayden will immediate wake up and wiggle his way towards Chad’s hand. This happens instantly—Cayden will be curled up at Chad’s hands within seconds. It doesn’t matter where Chad puts his hands or what else is going on Cayden will find his way to where Chad is touching me.
Once Cayden gets to Chad’s hand he just dances and dances and dances. It’s like he’s reaching out to Chad wanting to hold his hand or be held. It’s amazing. Last night as well feel asleep we thought Cayden was going to bust out of my skin he was kicking so hard.
I know I’ve said the word amazing like a million times already, but it is. I can’t get over how aware babies are in the womb. I love that Chad and Cayden are able to bond before they even meet. It feels me with great joy to have Chad experiencing this great journey with me.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Homeowner Affordability and Stability Plan
Because our wonderful President is taking immediate action to help solve the economic crisis facing America it looks like Chad and I may be able to personally benefit.
President Obama announced yesterday at Dobson High School (in the very town I live in, Mesa, AZ) his plan for the Homeowner Affordability and Stability Plan. This plan will allow homeowners to re-finance their home mortgage for a lower interest rates, even if they *owe* more on their mortgage than what the house is worth.
This was the exact problem facing me and Chad. We wanted to re-finance, we need to re-fiance in order to help with the baby and possibly get one of us at home full-time. Problem was: we couldn't re-finance because we own more on the house than what it's worth. This plan will allow us to re-fiance and get lower, much lower, monthly payments.
The plan goes into full effect the beginning of March and I've already put in a request to our mortgage lender Wells Fargo to start the process of re-financing. On another positive note, Wells Fargo announced that they are in full favor of this plan and will do everything in their power to get as many homeowners re-financed as quickly as possible.
My co-worker has already started her re-fiance process and her payment is going to be reduced by $400 a month! That is amazing. An extra $400 a month would make a *huge* difference for me and Chad.
What a blessing. That's all I can say...what a blessing. I really, truly hope we are able to re-fiance for a lower rate.
Who knows...maybe I will end up a stay at home mom after all.
Get a full look at the plan here:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/18/AR2009021801159.html?sid=ST2009021801211
President Obama announced yesterday at Dobson High School (in the very town I live in, Mesa, AZ) his plan for the Homeowner Affordability and Stability Plan. This plan will allow homeowners to re-finance their home mortgage for a lower interest rates, even if they *owe* more on their mortgage than what the house is worth.
This was the exact problem facing me and Chad. We wanted to re-finance, we need to re-fiance in order to help with the baby and possibly get one of us at home full-time. Problem was: we couldn't re-finance because we own more on the house than what it's worth. This plan will allow us to re-fiance and get lower, much lower, monthly payments.
The plan goes into full effect the beginning of March and I've already put in a request to our mortgage lender Wells Fargo to start the process of re-financing. On another positive note, Wells Fargo announced that they are in full favor of this plan and will do everything in their power to get as many homeowners re-financed as quickly as possible.
My co-worker has already started her re-fiance process and her payment is going to be reduced by $400 a month! That is amazing. An extra $400 a month would make a *huge* difference for me and Chad.
What a blessing. That's all I can say...what a blessing. I really, truly hope we are able to re-fiance for a lower rate.
Who knows...maybe I will end up a stay at home mom after all.
Get a full look at the plan here:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/02/18/AR2009021801159.html?sid=ST2009021801211
R.I.P Adam Carolla
This morning I learned that my favorite morning radio show is being cancelled. Yup, the Adam Carolla show will air its last episode tomorrow. I am in mourning right now. I love Adam Carolla. I have an intellectual crush on him--cause let's face it, he's not much to look at. I could listen to his rants forever.
I talk about his show every night to Chad. "Today Adam Carolla said_________ and it was *so* funny."
I just agreed with so much of what he had to say about politics, society and celebrities. I felt like he was in my mind. I'll totally miss his show. Now I will be forced to listen to the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus...yuck!
R.I.P Adam Carolla show. You will be missed. But you'll live on in pod-cast heaven.
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/entertainment&id=6667219
I talk about his show every night to Chad. "Today Adam Carolla said_________ and it was *so* funny."
I just agreed with so much of what he had to say about politics, society and celebrities. I felt like he was in my mind. I'll totally miss his show. Now I will be forced to listen to the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus...yuck!
R.I.P Adam Carolla show. You will be missed. But you'll live on in pod-cast heaven.
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/entertainment&id=6667219
My Civic Duty
It was bound to happen. I got summons for jury duty in the mail yesterday. Surprisingly, I am not particularly bummed out by this summons. I've always sort of wanted to get jury duty. I think it will fascinating to see the legal system live in action. I'm not planning on *trying* to get out of being selected for a trial; I just don't want to get selected for an O.J. Simpson-esque trial where I have to stay locked up in some hotel for weeks on end.
The only bummer to my jury duty is that it is in downtown Phoenix--boo. Chad had jury duty about 8 months ago and he got to go to the little courthouse in Mesa. Not me. I have to drive all the way to downtown Phoenix; which will take well over an hour in traffic even though it's only 20 miles from my house.
I hate downtown Phoenix. Downtown Phoenix is the only part of the valley that resembles the huge city that is the Phoenix Metro area actually is. The rest of the valley is just like Albuquerque, it just stretches on for 90 miles. Downtown Phoenix is different; full of tall skyscrapers, parking garages, one-way streets (yuck) and bustling intersections. I always get lost when I am downtown and I hate paying to park my car in some garage that seems like rape is waiting for me at every corner.
Originally I was assigned jury duty on March 24th. I had to postpone this date because on March 24th I will still be in Albuquerque because of my baby shower! So now I am going to be serving my jury duty on April 1st. April 1st is 6 weeks away. I can't imagine how pregnant-ly big I will be by then. Maybe I'll have Cayden in the courtroom...LOL. We don't want to meet him *that* early.
So yes, as dorky as it may seem I am pretty excited to be part of the American Justice system.
The only bummer to my jury duty is that it is in downtown Phoenix--boo. Chad had jury duty about 8 months ago and he got to go to the little courthouse in Mesa. Not me. I have to drive all the way to downtown Phoenix; which will take well over an hour in traffic even though it's only 20 miles from my house.
I hate downtown Phoenix. Downtown Phoenix is the only part of the valley that resembles the huge city that is the Phoenix Metro area actually is. The rest of the valley is just like Albuquerque, it just stretches on for 90 miles. Downtown Phoenix is different; full of tall skyscrapers, parking garages, one-way streets (yuck) and bustling intersections. I always get lost when I am downtown and I hate paying to park my car in some garage that seems like rape is waiting for me at every corner.
Originally I was assigned jury duty on March 24th. I had to postpone this date because on March 24th I will still be in Albuquerque because of my baby shower! So now I am going to be serving my jury duty on April 1st. April 1st is 6 weeks away. I can't imagine how pregnant-ly big I will be by then. Maybe I'll have Cayden in the courtroom...LOL. We don't want to meet him *that* early.
So yes, as dorky as it may seem I am pretty excited to be part of the American Justice system.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sore
Holy hell I am sore today. I did a new pre-natal workout video on Monday and it kicked my butt. I can't believe it either. My ego is shot. I'm a bit cocky when it comes to my workout abilities. "I'm awesome. I do Tae Bo." But this pre-natal video was a *real* work-out; which is very different from all the other pre-natal work-out videos I've been doing.
I think I started the video with a mis-conception and that's what lead to my downfall. The video was pre-natal fitness with a partner. I got it because I thought it would be nice for Chad to help me with some of my fitness practices.
I don't know about you, but when I think of pre-natal fitness with a partner I think of stretching, breathing, hugging and belly rubs. Well, this video had none of that. Instead it was: squats, lunges, push-ups, leg-lifts and a variety of other exercises.
All of the exercises were done with a partner (Chad) who gave resistance to make them harder. Well, it doesn't take much for Chad to add a lot of resistance to anything I do. He is so much bigger than me--just the weight of his hands on my back made the push-up *so* much harder.
So, need-less-to-say I am hobbling around work looking like I am 20 months pregnant instead of 5. Yesterday I just walked on the treadmill at the gym and I am planning on doing the same today.
I think I started the video with a mis-conception and that's what lead to my downfall. The video was pre-natal fitness with a partner. I got it because I thought it would be nice for Chad to help me with some of my fitness practices.
I don't know about you, but when I think of pre-natal fitness with a partner I think of stretching, breathing, hugging and belly rubs. Well, this video had none of that. Instead it was: squats, lunges, push-ups, leg-lifts and a variety of other exercises.
All of the exercises were done with a partner (Chad) who gave resistance to make them harder. Well, it doesn't take much for Chad to add a lot of resistance to anything I do. He is so much bigger than me--just the weight of his hands on my back made the push-up *so* much harder.
So, need-less-to-say I am hobbling around work looking like I am 20 months pregnant instead of 5. Yesterday I just walked on the treadmill at the gym and I am planning on doing the same today.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Buster Playing in the snow!
check out some video of buster playing in the snow from valentines weekend.
Snowy V-Day/B-Day Weekend
We had our babymoon this weekend and it was awesome! We had such a great time. Although the trip was relatively uneventful it was one of the best trips Chad and I have ever taken. The trip was so completely different from anything we have ever done. Our baby dog Buster got to come with us; we stayed in a cabin (something neither one of us have ever done) and we got to play in the snow all day and hang out by the fire all night.
We drove up Friday afternoon after work. I got off of work at noon and had everything packed and ready to go when Chad got home at 4:00 and we were out the door before 4:30. It only took us an hour and a half to get to the town of Payson. Our cabin was about 20 miles away; tucked in the pine trees and secluded from the outside world.
The town of Payson was cold (to our Phoenix standards) about 45 degrees and had a light dusting of snow on the ground. As we got closer and closer to our cabin (on Christopher Creek) the weather drastically changed. Once we got to our final destination it was about 32 degrees and there was a good foot to a foot and a half of snow on the ground.
The cabin only had a small heater and a fireplace to provide warmth so when we checked in it was freezing. Chad immediately lit a fire to get things warmed up. We took Buster for a walk. He was curious and very interested in his new surroundings but seemed to love it. He didn’t want to come inside.
We spent the night making s’mores in the fire and trying to stay warm and just generally enjoying our new environment. The next morning we drove to the little grocery store nearby and got stuff to make sandwiches and man ‘n cheese…very fancy I know. We took a walk in the snow and spent the rest of the afternoon warming by the fire.
That evening we drove into Payson to eat dinner at an Italian restaurant and spend a little time at the casino. Of course, we didn’t win any money at the casino, but we still had a good time.
We left back to Phoenix about 11:00am on Sunday. That was check-out time, but I wasn’t ready to leave. I could have stayed in that cabin for weeks. It was so relaxing and beautiful. The snow was really magical; it’s probably because we hardly ever get to see it. It was the greatest birthday ever.
We are already planning on heading back either this summer to escape the heat or again next winter to throw Cayden in the snow!
We drove up Friday afternoon after work. I got off of work at noon and had everything packed and ready to go when Chad got home at 4:00 and we were out the door before 4:30. It only took us an hour and a half to get to the town of Payson. Our cabin was about 20 miles away; tucked in the pine trees and secluded from the outside world.
The town of Payson was cold (to our Phoenix standards) about 45 degrees and had a light dusting of snow on the ground. As we got closer and closer to our cabin (on Christopher Creek) the weather drastically changed. Once we got to our final destination it was about 32 degrees and there was a good foot to a foot and a half of snow on the ground.
The cabin only had a small heater and a fireplace to provide warmth so when we checked in it was freezing. Chad immediately lit a fire to get things warmed up. We took Buster for a walk. He was curious and very interested in his new surroundings but seemed to love it. He didn’t want to come inside.
We spent the night making s’mores in the fire and trying to stay warm and just generally enjoying our new environment. The next morning we drove to the little grocery store nearby and got stuff to make sandwiches and man ‘n cheese…very fancy I know. We took a walk in the snow and spent the rest of the afternoon warming by the fire.
That evening we drove into Payson to eat dinner at an Italian restaurant and spend a little time at the casino. Of course, we didn’t win any money at the casino, but we still had a good time.
We left back to Phoenix about 11:00am on Sunday. That was check-out time, but I wasn’t ready to leave. I could have stayed in that cabin for weeks. It was so relaxing and beautiful. The snow was really magical; it’s probably because we hardly ever get to see it. It was the greatest birthday ever.
We are already planning on heading back either this summer to escape the heat or again next winter to throw Cayden in the snow!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Kim—Update
I saw my boss Kim and her baby Zoey yesterday! I took dinner to her and her husband’s house and was able to visit for about an hour. It was incredible.
Quick Recap: Baby Zoey was born with Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome. Here are some quick statistics about Trisomy 18: The survival rate of Edwards Syndrome is very low. About 95% die in utero. Of live born infants, only 50% live to 2 months, and only 5–10% will survive their first year of life.
Given these statistics and given that Zoey is 4 weeks today is a true testament of this little girl’s pure strength and the power of prayer.
Zoey is a tiny bundle of joy—still under 4 pounds, but getting stronger every day. She takes her feeding through a feeding tube in her nose. It takes about 25 minutes to pump about 3 ounces of breast milk into her belly. And she needs to be feed every 2 and a half hours; round the clock. This keeps Kim and Dan very busy, but they are completely loving every second of it. Kim was in jammers and didn’t have her hair done and wasn’t wearing any make-up, but she has never looked more beautiful.
I had the great privilege of being able to hold Zoey while she took her feeding. She is tiny, but sturdy and very aware of her surroundings. She looked me in the eye and would turn her head towards Kim or Dan whenever they talked. I also had the great privilege of hearing her cry and seeing her take a pacifier for a few minutes. Crying, along with sucking, is a natural instinct lacking in babies with Edwards Syndrome. So, you can imagine those tiny cries were pure music to Kim and Dan’s ears.
Looking at the statistics and seeing Zoey yesterday completely baffle me. I don’t understand how a baby who is getting bigger and stronger everyday would be dying. Kim and Dan have a Hospice nurse come to their house everyday to check on Zoey. I didn’t get into the specifics and discuss timeframes with them. They said they are taking everything “day by day.”
Seeing Zoey, Kim and Dan yesterday made everything in my life seem small and not-worth-worrying about.
Quick Recap: Baby Zoey was born with Trisomy 18 or Edwards Syndrome. Here are some quick statistics about Trisomy 18: The survival rate of Edwards Syndrome is very low. About 95% die in utero. Of live born infants, only 50% live to 2 months, and only 5–10% will survive their first year of life.
Given these statistics and given that Zoey is 4 weeks today is a true testament of this little girl’s pure strength and the power of prayer.
Zoey is a tiny bundle of joy—still under 4 pounds, but getting stronger every day. She takes her feeding through a feeding tube in her nose. It takes about 25 minutes to pump about 3 ounces of breast milk into her belly. And she needs to be feed every 2 and a half hours; round the clock. This keeps Kim and Dan very busy, but they are completely loving every second of it. Kim was in jammers and didn’t have her hair done and wasn’t wearing any make-up, but she has never looked more beautiful.
I had the great privilege of being able to hold Zoey while she took her feeding. She is tiny, but sturdy and very aware of her surroundings. She looked me in the eye and would turn her head towards Kim or Dan whenever they talked. I also had the great privilege of hearing her cry and seeing her take a pacifier for a few minutes. Crying, along with sucking, is a natural instinct lacking in babies with Edwards Syndrome. So, you can imagine those tiny cries were pure music to Kim and Dan’s ears.
Looking at the statistics and seeing Zoey yesterday completely baffle me. I don’t understand how a baby who is getting bigger and stronger everyday would be dying. Kim and Dan have a Hospice nurse come to their house everyday to check on Zoey. I didn’t get into the specifics and discuss timeframes with them. They said they are taking everything “day by day.”
Seeing Zoey, Kim and Dan yesterday made everything in my life seem small and not-worth-worrying about.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Stay At Home Mom?—Update
Well, Chad is not getting as big of a raise as I was hoping for and he certainly isn’t getting it anytime soon. I also found out that I can’t teach because there isn’t an opening in the area I am qualified for. I can still work at UOP part time in the testing center. It would only be about 10 hours a week. It would not be a lot of money at all, but I keep thinking every little bit helps.
I just keep looking at the numbers. I look and then I re-look and then I look some more. And I just can’t seem to make them work. Chad would need a significant pay increase— even with me doing the testing job part time. And it just doesn’t look like that is going to happen; even though he is long, long overdue for a raise and is an excellent employee. I keep telling him to fight harder, but, no matter what it doesn’t seem like it will happen.
I feel crushed—devastated by this latest realization. I know that babies go to daycare all the time and they are fine. I know Cayden will be taken care of. But I also *know* that nobody can take as good of care of him as *I* can.
I never thought I wanted something like this, but once the possibility crept into my mind I feel in love with the idea of being able to take care of Cayden. I have a lump in my throat as I write this and I am sure that once I get home I will sob.
Again, it all goes back to the house…the dreaded house, my one big, giant regret. If we didn’t have the house I would be able to stay home; no doubt, no question. The mortgage is almost twice as much as the rent in our old townhouse and we took out a loan to re-do the back yard and now we have to pay for water. So in total, if we didn’t have the house we would be saving $14,700 a year. That’s outrageous…for a house that isn’t worth anything and didn’t help us at all on our taxes. It makes me sick. I really need to get over the whole house thing because there isn’t a damn thing I can do to change it and hating the place you live in cannot be healthy.
I *hate* that we don’t have this figured out. I feel so irresponsible for getting pregnant without knowing who will take care of my child. Does anyone have it figured out? I don’t know. But not having it figured out is giving me anxiety and stress and frustration and anger and all things that are not good for the person living inside me.
It boils down to this...I want to be at home with my child. I want to raise him. And knowing that there isn't a real possibility of me being able to do this is killing me.
I am positive this is not the last time I will be talking about this. I am sure it will change and re-change a million more times before Cayden is born and my FMLA is over. I just know that if you wait too long to make a decision the decision makes itself for you.
I just keep looking at the numbers. I look and then I re-look and then I look some more. And I just can’t seem to make them work. Chad would need a significant pay increase— even with me doing the testing job part time. And it just doesn’t look like that is going to happen; even though he is long, long overdue for a raise and is an excellent employee. I keep telling him to fight harder, but, no matter what it doesn’t seem like it will happen.
I feel crushed—devastated by this latest realization. I know that babies go to daycare all the time and they are fine. I know Cayden will be taken care of. But I also *know* that nobody can take as good of care of him as *I* can.
I never thought I wanted something like this, but once the possibility crept into my mind I feel in love with the idea of being able to take care of Cayden. I have a lump in my throat as I write this and I am sure that once I get home I will sob.
Again, it all goes back to the house…the dreaded house, my one big, giant regret. If we didn’t have the house I would be able to stay home; no doubt, no question. The mortgage is almost twice as much as the rent in our old townhouse and we took out a loan to re-do the back yard and now we have to pay for water. So in total, if we didn’t have the house we would be saving $14,700 a year. That’s outrageous…for a house that isn’t worth anything and didn’t help us at all on our taxes. It makes me sick. I really need to get over the whole house thing because there isn’t a damn thing I can do to change it and hating the place you live in cannot be healthy.
I *hate* that we don’t have this figured out. I feel so irresponsible for getting pregnant without knowing who will take care of my child. Does anyone have it figured out? I don’t know. But not having it figured out is giving me anxiety and stress and frustration and anger and all things that are not good for the person living inside me.
It boils down to this...I want to be at home with my child. I want to raise him. And knowing that there isn't a real possibility of me being able to do this is killing me.
I am positive this is not the last time I will be talking about this. I am sure it will change and re-change a million more times before Cayden is born and my FMLA is over. I just know that if you wait too long to make a decision the decision makes itself for you.
Eating!
It’s official…I *cannot* stop eating. Everything is just so delicious and wonderful to me right now. I am especially craving food with high sodium content; which is so bizarre because I’ve never liked really salty foods. But I find myself eating ramen noodles and Chef Boyardee constantly. I’m reverting back to my youth and eating like I’m 8 years old.
However, I don’t discriminate against sweet foods. I usually eat dessert every night…brownies, cake, Snickers, ice cream, whatever is on hand. I can’t help myself it’s just all so delicious. In fact, I am eating as I write this. I just got done eating a strawberry yogurt and now I am eating a chunk of cheese. Boy, I’ve really kicked up the dairy consumption too.
So basically I am eating more salty food, more sweet food and more diary food. I guess you can say I am just eating more in general because I haven’t neglected the fruits and vegetables either.
I didn’t think pregnant people could eat large portions because the baby is pressing on the stomach making it smaller. Well, my stomach doesn’t appear to be smaller at all—just higher. It’s so funny to have stomach growls that are practically in my chest. I can eat huge portions, huge. I never leave a morsel on my plate.
Baby Cayden seems to love the food just as much as I do. After every meal he starts dancing happily in my belly. Or maybe he is being smashed by the enormous weight of my stomach and is trying to find some wiggle room.
I like to say that I have a Homer Simpson belly—there is no denying it…I’m getting big. One of my co-workers saw me yesterday and said with wide eyes, “Whoa…baby belly…” I’m going to blame my petite frame. I can’t imagine what I will look like when this kid puts on another 5 pounds.
However, I don’t discriminate against sweet foods. I usually eat dessert every night…brownies, cake, Snickers, ice cream, whatever is on hand. I can’t help myself it’s just all so delicious. In fact, I am eating as I write this. I just got done eating a strawberry yogurt and now I am eating a chunk of cheese. Boy, I’ve really kicked up the dairy consumption too.
So basically I am eating more salty food, more sweet food and more diary food. I guess you can say I am just eating more in general because I haven’t neglected the fruits and vegetables either.
I didn’t think pregnant people could eat large portions because the baby is pressing on the stomach making it smaller. Well, my stomach doesn’t appear to be smaller at all—just higher. It’s so funny to have stomach growls that are practically in my chest. I can eat huge portions, huge. I never leave a morsel on my plate.
Baby Cayden seems to love the food just as much as I do. After every meal he starts dancing happily in my belly. Or maybe he is being smashed by the enormous weight of my stomach and is trying to find some wiggle room.
I like to say that I have a Homer Simpson belly—there is no denying it…I’m getting big. One of my co-workers saw me yesterday and said with wide eyes, “Whoa…baby belly…” I’m going to blame my petite frame. I can’t imagine what I will look like when this kid puts on another 5 pounds.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Payson Here We Come!
We are getting ready to go on our Baby Moon this weekend and I am so excited. I’ve been pumped to head up to Payson, AZ since we booked the trip, but I am especially excited now that it’s been snowing there for the past few days. It is going to be such a change of scenery for us. I remain amazed by the difference 90 miles can make.
I have my fingers double crossed that the snow lasts until this weekend and it’s not just a muddy mess when we get there. We were planning on going to the lake to have a picnic and maybe doing a little fishing. That plan may have to be altered. Chad says we may end up stuck indoors. I wouldn’t mind that at all. The cabin appears to be adorable and it has a log fire place and a kitchenette. I am definitely taking stuff to make smores!
I bet Buster is going to love this trip. He is such a city dog. I can’t wait to get him into the great outdoors. It’s so nice being able to take him with us. We usually always have to leave him with Chad’s uncle. It’s a shame most hotels are not pet friendly.
Saturday evening we have reservations at a nice (the only) Italian restaurant in Payson. Yum, yum. Afterwards we may go to the casino or see a movie. The dinner reservations are the only definite plans we have and I love that the weekend doesn’t have to follow an agenda. It will be so nice to relax and get to enjoy some quality time with my hubby on my birthday and Valentine’s Day.
While my parents were here this weekend I got a birthday-preview. They took me to dinner at P.F. Chang’s—delicious. They also got me a gift certificate for 3 massages. Chad bought me a new maternity outfit and pitched in on the massages. Chad didn’t even have to get me any presents…he’s already given me the best present I could ever ask for…he’s in my belly.
I can’t believe I am going to be 26 on Saturday. It’s been 8 years since graduating high school and 4 years since graduating college. Time flies. I’m closer to 30 than I am to 20. Yikes.
I have my fingers double crossed that the snow lasts until this weekend and it’s not just a muddy mess when we get there. We were planning on going to the lake to have a picnic and maybe doing a little fishing. That plan may have to be altered. Chad says we may end up stuck indoors. I wouldn’t mind that at all. The cabin appears to be adorable and it has a log fire place and a kitchenette. I am definitely taking stuff to make smores!
I bet Buster is going to love this trip. He is such a city dog. I can’t wait to get him into the great outdoors. It’s so nice being able to take him with us. We usually always have to leave him with Chad’s uncle. It’s a shame most hotels are not pet friendly.
Saturday evening we have reservations at a nice (the only) Italian restaurant in Payson. Yum, yum. Afterwards we may go to the casino or see a movie. The dinner reservations are the only definite plans we have and I love that the weekend doesn’t have to follow an agenda. It will be so nice to relax and get to enjoy some quality time with my hubby on my birthday and Valentine’s Day.
While my parents were here this weekend I got a birthday-preview. They took me to dinner at P.F. Chang’s—delicious. They also got me a gift certificate for 3 massages. Chad bought me a new maternity outfit and pitched in on the massages. Chad didn’t even have to get me any presents…he’s already given me the best present I could ever ask for…he’s in my belly.
I can’t believe I am going to be 26 on Saturday. It’s been 8 years since graduating high school and 4 years since graduating college. Time flies. I’m closer to 30 than I am to 20. Yikes.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Cayden’s Latest Photo Shoot
I had another ultrasound on Friday and got to get another peek at precious Baby Cayden. My parents were in town this weekend and they went to the ultrasound with me. As you can imagine, this was very exciting for them. They’ve only seen ultrasound pictures and seen the ultrasound DVD. There is something extra special about being able to watch the baby live and in action. My mom was a weepy mess—it was beyond adorable.
I am happy to say that he wasn’t being as stubborn during this ultrasound as he has in the past. We were able to get some really good pictures of him this time. He is also proving to be quiet the gymnast. He was literally bent in half with his toes touching his forehead. What a nut! He is already so entertaining –I can’t wait until he is out and about in the world.
I can’t believe there is only 18 weeks left in my pregnancy. It is going by so fast. Every day I look and feel more and more pregnant. Cayden is making himself more known to us everyday too. His kicks are getting stronger and more frequent by the day.
I can now start really sharing this pregnancy with the people around me. Cayden’s kicks are strong enough to be felt by other people. Chad starting feeling kicks last Saturday. They are subtle and you really have to concentrate to feel them, but they can definitely be felt. Both my mom and my dad were able to feel his kicks too. It’s so exciting. I can’t wait to start seeing body parts move across my belly—it’s gonna be freaky and awesome. I can’t believe there is a person inside my person. Life…it really is miraculous.
I am happy to say that he wasn’t being as stubborn during this ultrasound as he has in the past. We were able to get some really good pictures of him this time. He is also proving to be quiet the gymnast. He was literally bent in half with his toes touching his forehead. What a nut! He is already so entertaining –I can’t wait until he is out and about in the world.
I can’t believe there is only 18 weeks left in my pregnancy. It is going by so fast. Every day I look and feel more and more pregnant. Cayden is making himself more known to us everyday too. His kicks are getting stronger and more frequent by the day.
I can now start really sharing this pregnancy with the people around me. Cayden’s kicks are strong enough to be felt by other people. Chad starting feeling kicks last Saturday. They are subtle and you really have to concentrate to feel them, but they can definitely be felt. Both my mom and my dad were able to feel his kicks too. It’s so exciting. I can’t wait to start seeing body parts move across my belly—it’s gonna be freaky and awesome. I can’t believe there is a person inside my person. Life…it really is miraculous.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Missing: Class, if found, please return to owner
Some people have no class. Okay, so I am an overly-sensitive mother lioness right now, but still, some people have no class.
Today, we had a department luncheon because one of our managers has been promoted to National Director of Alumni relations--go Nikki! We were all gathered around talking, eating lunch and generally having a good time.
As usually happens most days one of my co-workers brought up me being pregnant and asked, "How's the baby doing? Is he moving around a lot?"
Then Steve, an older gentlemen, said, "You're having a boy? Any thoughts on a name?"
"Oh yes," I say. "We are naming him Cayden."
"Why, are you mad at him?"
This pissed me off. "No, why?"
"Oh, because boys don't like being called weird names."
"Cayden is not weird name."
The conversation when back and forth for a while. He said that Cayden is a weird name, he's never heard of it, boys don't like unusual names, using a C instead of a K is even more weird and that he is only commenting on my name choice because he considers himself a child advocate. A child advocate...what does that even mean? It's not like I'm abusing my child!
Man, I was fuming. I finally said, "Well, I'm sorry you don't like my name choice, but luckily for you--you don't have to live with the name."
I was about 30 second away from telling him what name I think he should have...a$$hole.
Like I said, some people have no class.
Today, we had a department luncheon because one of our managers has been promoted to National Director of Alumni relations--go Nikki! We were all gathered around talking, eating lunch and generally having a good time.
As usually happens most days one of my co-workers brought up me being pregnant and asked, "How's the baby doing? Is he moving around a lot?"
Then Steve, an older gentlemen, said, "You're having a boy? Any thoughts on a name?"
"Oh yes," I say. "We are naming him Cayden."
"Why, are you mad at him?"
This pissed me off. "No, why?"
"Oh, because boys don't like being called weird names."
"Cayden is not weird name."
The conversation when back and forth for a while. He said that Cayden is a weird name, he's never heard of it, boys don't like unusual names, using a C instead of a K is even more weird and that he is only commenting on my name choice because he considers himself a child advocate. A child advocate...what does that even mean? It's not like I'm abusing my child!
Man, I was fuming. I finally said, "Well, I'm sorry you don't like my name choice, but luckily for you--you don't have to live with the name."
I was about 30 second away from telling him what name I think he should have...a$$hole.
Like I said, some people have no class.
14 Under 7
I’m sure by now you’ve heard about the lady in California who gave birth to octuplets. While I am thankful the babies all survived the birth and are doing well I don’t feel like this birth should be a celebration. Instead, it should be a scary lesson of how *not* to handle fertility treatments.
The woman who birthed these 8 babies already had 6 at home—all under the age of 7 and according to the grandmother were all conceived via intro fertilization. So this means that she now has 14 babies under the age of 7. She also lives with her parents, has no domestic partner and is jobless. While I 100% support a woman’s right to reproduce I feel like this is child abuse. There is no possible way to give all 14 babies the love, attention and care they need.
No one would try to raise 14 puppies at once so why do it with human beings?
This also raises a lot of ethical questions. How many children is too many? Should a woman who already has children undergo fertility treatments? I don’t know what the magic number is when it comes to having too many children. But I definitely feel that 14 under the age of 7 is too many.
I also want to want to state that I am a firm supporter of fertility treatments. I feel when done properly they serve a very special purpose by allowing a couple to conceive. I was extremely fortunate that Chad and I were able to get pregnant after only 6 weeks of trying. Not every couple is that lucky. If, for some reason, Chad and I weren’t able to conceive on our own I would have undergone fertility treatments. However, I *never* would have allowed 8 fertilized eggs to be implanted into my body.
The woman who birthed these 8 babies already had 6 at home—all under the age of 7 and according to the grandmother were all conceived via intro fertilization. So this means that she now has 14 babies under the age of 7. She also lives with her parents, has no domestic partner and is jobless. While I 100% support a woman’s right to reproduce I feel like this is child abuse. There is no possible way to give all 14 babies the love, attention and care they need.
No one would try to raise 14 puppies at once so why do it with human beings?
This also raises a lot of ethical questions. How many children is too many? Should a woman who already has children undergo fertility treatments? I don’t know what the magic number is when it comes to having too many children. But I definitely feel that 14 under the age of 7 is too many.
I also want to want to state that I am a firm supporter of fertility treatments. I feel when done properly they serve a very special purpose by allowing a couple to conceive. I was extremely fortunate that Chad and I were able to get pregnant after only 6 weeks of trying. Not every couple is that lucky. If, for some reason, Chad and I weren’t able to conceive on our own I would have undergone fertility treatments. However, I *never* would have allowed 8 fertilized eggs to be implanted into my body.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Stay At Home Mom?
The more I think about it the more I want to quit my job and stay home with Baby Cayden. It is something that I really want and something that I think Baby Cayden really needs. The biggest obstacle standing between our family and this goal right now is…money, of course. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out a way to make the numbers work. Heck, I’ve been losing sleep over this.
It finally dawned on me. Where do I work? The University of Phoenix. What is the main purpose of this company? Teaching working adults. Why the heck don’t I just starting teaching for University of Phoenix instead of being a full-time employee? I can teach class one night a week for 5 weeks and then start a new class.
I wouldn’t make as much teaching as I do in my current position, but the extra money would help tremendously. Plus, once I get adapted to teaching I could take on more courses. Ideally I would like to teach two classes at a time; one campus course and one online course.
There is, however, one little glitch in this great plan of mine. In order to teach at University of Phoenix you need to have your master’s degree for at least two years. I’ve had my masters degree for just one year. However, I do personally know the Director of Academic Affairs and I am going to ask him to waive this requirement for me. I think he might. I truly hope he does.
So here is the lowdown. If I can start teaching and Chad gets a raise (he is supposed to be getting one—fingers crossed) then I can quit my job. Or, if I teach two classes I can quit my job; Chad will not even need to get a raise, but if he does it will make it that much better.
Originally we had planned on having Chad quit his job and stay home with the baby. We thought of this because I have way better benefits than him; including insurance, 401k, vacation, career path, etc. However, after giving it more thought. It seems to make so much more sense to have me quit my job and teach. I just hope it works out. I am excited about this—maybe too excited.
I will keep you posted. Fingers crossed!
It finally dawned on me. Where do I work? The University of Phoenix. What is the main purpose of this company? Teaching working adults. Why the heck don’t I just starting teaching for University of Phoenix instead of being a full-time employee? I can teach class one night a week for 5 weeks and then start a new class.
I wouldn’t make as much teaching as I do in my current position, but the extra money would help tremendously. Plus, once I get adapted to teaching I could take on more courses. Ideally I would like to teach two classes at a time; one campus course and one online course.
There is, however, one little glitch in this great plan of mine. In order to teach at University of Phoenix you need to have your master’s degree for at least two years. I’ve had my masters degree for just one year. However, I do personally know the Director of Academic Affairs and I am going to ask him to waive this requirement for me. I think he might. I truly hope he does.
So here is the lowdown. If I can start teaching and Chad gets a raise (he is supposed to be getting one—fingers crossed) then I can quit my job. Or, if I teach two classes I can quit my job; Chad will not even need to get a raise, but if he does it will make it that much better.
Originally we had planned on having Chad quit his job and stay home with the baby. We thought of this because I have way better benefits than him; including insurance, 401k, vacation, career path, etc. However, after giving it more thought. It seems to make so much more sense to have me quit my job and teach. I just hope it works out. I am excited about this—maybe too excited.
I will keep you posted. Fingers crossed!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Bitter...Really Bitter
*I am so bitter right now…please excuse this rant. I apologize for how offensive I am about to be.*
We did our tax returns yesterday and we totally got screwed. We are getting back next to nothing and I simply can’t believe it. We were really counting on this tax return to help pay off/down a loan we took out to re-do the backyard and finish getting everything ready for Cayden.
I truly believed that our house was going to help us out and it didn’t. I am such a bitter homeowner right now it’s unreal. I would go back to renting our townhouse in a second. We paid over $12,000 in interest on our mortgage this year and it got us a $600 rebate. What a joke! Not only that but the house is worth $40,000 *less* than what we paid for it 15 months ago. I used to have second thoughts about buying the house and now…now I regret it just about every day.
I feel like there is no incentive in this country for working hard. I feel like I am being punished for being a married home owner with a good job. Maybe because I am a married home owner with a good job I don’t deserve any special treatment from the government? I don’t know. I just know how I feel and right now I feel robbed.
In the end it comes down to this…we made too much money this year. But it doesn’t *feel* like we made a lot of money. We don’t spend extravagantly or out of our means…it’s just really expensive to live in AZ. It’s expensive to live anywhere.
Once again, I feel like I felt after the Super Bowl…completely deflated…like someone just let all my air out. It’s beyond disappointing.
I told Chad yesterday that we should just quit our jobs, have like 6 kids and live off of welfare, WIC and food stamps and wait for our 10k tax return every year. That sounds so much easier that busting my ass everyday at a job I only kind of like. Yes. I am *that* bitter.
Oh yeah…here’s the icing on the cake. Our 401K lost 38.9% of its value over the past 12 months. Not only is my house worth nothing, but now I never get to retire! Once again…what’s the point of even trying?
Note to self: remain thankful that we don’t owe. I have to say it over and over again, because I’ll lose my flipping mind if I don’t.
We did our tax returns yesterday and we totally got screwed. We are getting back next to nothing and I simply can’t believe it. We were really counting on this tax return to help pay off/down a loan we took out to re-do the backyard and finish getting everything ready for Cayden.
I truly believed that our house was going to help us out and it didn’t. I am such a bitter homeowner right now it’s unreal. I would go back to renting our townhouse in a second. We paid over $12,000 in interest on our mortgage this year and it got us a $600 rebate. What a joke! Not only that but the house is worth $40,000 *less* than what we paid for it 15 months ago. I used to have second thoughts about buying the house and now…now I regret it just about every day.
I feel like there is no incentive in this country for working hard. I feel like I am being punished for being a married home owner with a good job. Maybe because I am a married home owner with a good job I don’t deserve any special treatment from the government? I don’t know. I just know how I feel and right now I feel robbed.
In the end it comes down to this…we made too much money this year. But it doesn’t *feel* like we made a lot of money. We don’t spend extravagantly or out of our means…it’s just really expensive to live in AZ. It’s expensive to live anywhere.
Once again, I feel like I felt after the Super Bowl…completely deflated…like someone just let all my air out. It’s beyond disappointing.
I told Chad yesterday that we should just quit our jobs, have like 6 kids and live off of welfare, WIC and food stamps and wait for our 10k tax return every year. That sounds so much easier that busting my ass everyday at a job I only kind of like. Yes. I am *that* bitter.
Oh yeah…here’s the icing on the cake. Our 401K lost 38.9% of its value over the past 12 months. Not only is my house worth nothing, but now I never get to retire! Once again…what’s the point of even trying?
Note to self: remain thankful that we don’t owe. I have to say it over and over again, because I’ll lose my flipping mind if I don’t.
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