Back to Work

So I will be heading back to work at the beginning of September. I have decided to take a part-time position in the testing center at University of Phoenix. While I do wish that I could stay home 100% with baby Cayden I remain grateful that I am able to stay home mostly with him.


I will be working about 10 hours a week. My hours will be Friday evenings and Saturday during the day. This means that Cayden will only have to go to the sitter for about two hours on Friday afternoons--which is terrific. It also means that Cayden and Chad will have some alone bonding time together; which I am sure will be good for both of them.

Cayden will be going to Chad's cousin's house. Her name is Melissa and she is a stay at home mother to two boys already in school. She loves Cayden to pieces and I am confident that he will be well taken care of. I am glad that we don't have to take over advantage of her kindness. She has offered to take care of Cayden for free and I am glad we will only be imposing on her kindness a few hours a week.


Our ultimate goal is to have me eventually stay at home with Cayden full time. After we get through the holidays and if (fingers crossed) we get a good tax return or if our (fingers crossed) house gets refinanced I will quit the testing center job and stay at home with the baby all the time.

Our New Mexico Trip

Cayden and I took a trip to New Mexico and it was a blast. We road-triped with my dad. He picked us up last Thursday and we made the 9 hour trek to my parents house in Los Lunas. The trip normally takes 3 hours, but with a baby on board we needed to take extra breaks for feeding, changing and pumping.

I am so very proud of Cayden. He did wonderfully on the trip. He didn't cry at all. He slept the entire time! Cayden never ceases to amaze me--he is such a good little baby. We are so blessed to have such a great baby.

I was so pleased to introduce Cayden to all of my family. I love to show him off and I love to see people's reactions the first time they meet him. Of course, my entire family feel completely in love with him. I was so happy to introduce him to all of my grandparents, cousins and aunts and uncles. Cayden also got to meet one of his surrogate Aunt's. My friend Kenna (who lives in L.A.) happened to be in town and she got to meet him as well.

We also took a road trip to Clovis to meet all of Chad's family. Of course Cayden did wonderfully on the trip and everyone in Chad's family loved him. Cayden was a traveling man.

I am so glad that we got to spend some time in New Mexico. We had a fantastic time and Cayden got extra spoiled. The only bummer was that Chad was unable to make the trip with us.

Shots!

We just got back from Cayden's two-month well baby check. He is 10 pounds 8 ounces...what a growing boy.

They gave him 4 shots!!!! My poor baby boy. He is in so much pain right now. It's killing me.

More Cayden Video

Here is a video of Cayden playing with his big cousin Kale and his Grandma Sherri. They are 12 weeks apart and I must say that Cayden is catching up to Kale. The size difference isn't so big anymore.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN5LuR5_3Yk

The Clovis Clan

Cayden got to meet some of Chad's family from Clovis this past week. His grandma Reed and Kerri were in town. They, of course, feel in love with him. How can you not?

We had a great time during his mom's visit. Everytime we have friends or family come into town I know two things are certain. 1) We will have a great time. 2) The time will pass by too quickly.

I never thought I would say this but ever since Cayden was born I have found myself with a strong desire to move back to New Mexico. To go home.

It makes me sad in a really real way that so many of our friends and family have yet to meet Cayden. I want so badly to share this wonderful experience with all of the people that are close to us. Sure, youtube and myspace work wonders, but it isn't the same.

There are many obstacles that would prevent us from moving right now. But still, the desire is there. And I know that our family shares the same sentiment.

At the same time moving back to New Mexico is scary. We have roots here in Phoenix. Roots that create stability for us, yet they also seem to be tying us down. Moving back would be a giant step for us; it's almost like we would be starting all over. But that might not be a bad thing.

It's never to late to start over, right?

Making Friends

Cayden has been spending time making friends and I must admit he is very popular. Last Thursday I went to lunch with some friends from work and, of course, everyone feel in love with him. After lunch I took him to the office to show him off. He had about 10 pretty girls ohhing and ahhing over him--something I am sure he will have to get used to ;)

Later that day I had Bunco (my monthly night with the girls where we play a dice game) and again he was the life of the party. Cayden is quickly becoming the most popular baby in Phoenix.

Cayden was very well behaved during his busy day last week. I shouldn't have been surprised--he is always well behaved.

A few weeks ago he was able to meet one of his surrogate aunts when my friend Kristin drove up from Tucson to spend the night with us. I think Kristin wanted to sneak Cayden home with her in her luggage. I can't wait for Cayden to meet his two other surrogate aunt's, Abby and Kenna.

Cayden will also get to meet his Grandma Reed this weekend. Chad's mom is coming down this weekend and is staying with us for a few days. I am sure Sherri will fall instantly in love with Cayden.

I am also going down to New Mexico during the first week of August. I can't wait for Cayden to meet the rest of my family and maybe another surrogate aunt (wink wink Abby).

Growing Boy

Cayden had a doctor appointment on Monday and I am pleased to announce that he is now 7 pounds 11 ounces. He was born at 6 pounds 5 ounces. He lost some weight after his delievery (as all babies do) and checked in at 5 pounds 15 ounces when he was 3 days old.

I still have a little guy on my hands. He is in the 5th percentile. This means that 95% of all baby boys his age are bigger than him! He is my itty bitty and I love him. They always say good things comes in small packages and Cayden definitely fits that expression.

I know that Cayden will come into his own and grow and cath up with all the other boys his age. And if he doesn't and remains small his whole life so be it. Tall, short, big, small it doesn't matter. There is nothing that could ever make me love Cayden less--I can only love him more.

Cayden Video

Here is a link to a video of Cayden from the 4th of July...enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbbTG-Bzmus

Cayden's 1st 4th

It was the best 4th of July ever this year. Cayden is really good at making any event the best one ever.

My parents were in town and we went to Chad's uncles house for some swimming and relaxing. Linsey, Dustin and baby Kale were also there. Fireworks are outlawed in the state of Arizona so we didn't get to see any night time shows, but with the two babies around who needs fireworks.



Cayden has a great time lounging around the pool. I think he was getting ready for his debut on Baywatch or something because he is really showing off his muscles.





After a long nap it was time for him to wake up. It's hard waking up when your a baby...in fact, waking up makes Cayden tired! I love this picture so much. He looks absolutely adorable.




Cayden needed a dip in the pool. He did so good in the pool. He didn't cry once. I knew he would like it because he always does so good with his baths.





I had a great time lounging in the pool with baby Cayden. It was so much fun, but anything involving Cayden is so much fun.




We needed some relaxation after the long day.

No wonder his new nickname is Cheeks! I love this expression he has on his face in this picture. He makes a million and one different faces and they are all so flipping adorable.

Another one of Cayden's adorable faces. If you have noticed Cayden is in his Boppy Pillow in a lot of the pictures we have of him. Boppy Pillows are lifesavers. I would suggest them to anyone.
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Not All Pumps Are Created Equal

I've had a breakthrough in my breastfeeding adventures. Turns out not all breast pumps are created equal and I was definitely using the wrong one. I bit the bullet and bought a new pump yesterday (the one I should have bought initially) and things are already vastly improving.

Much to my surprise the biggest store specifically designated for breast feeding mothers is right down the street from me. I went to the store and the staff was so helpful and was able to set me up with the *right* breast pump.

Breast feeding so far has been a complete joy and has been completely frustrating. I love nursing Cayden and being close to him and continuing to provide for him. It's so beautiful to nurse him; it's something only I as his mother can do.

However, I had been having supply problems. I simply did not have enough milk production to keep him satisfied. I was having to supplement with formula; which I hated doing. The formula made him spit-up and gave him diaper rash.

At first I wasn't pumping that much milk, but I didn't worry too much about it--it was still early and Cayden didn't need much to keep him full. However, these past couple of weeks I noticed that I wasn't pumping any more milk than I was in the first few day. In fact, some days I would actually pump *less* milk. This did not make for a happy Reed household...Cayden demanding more milk; me making less milk.

I would feel so sorry for poor baby Cayden. He would scream out in hunger and there was nothing I could do for him but give him a formula bottle. I felt like a failure. Why couldn't I provide for my baby? Why couldn't I make enough milk to keep him full? It's amazing how personal breast feeding is.

What I found out yesterday was that the pump I was using (Playtex brand) was sabotaging my supply because its pumping pattern did not mimic a nursing baby--therefore when I pumped there was zero brain chemistry involved telling my body to make more milk because I had a baby that needed to be fed. The pump I bought (Medela brand) actually mimics the nursing pattern of a real baby therefore it tells my brain to make more milk.

I have already noticed a difference. My supply has increased in just 24 hours by 1 ounce at every pumping--which is a lot in the breast feeding world. The staff at the store said I would notice a huge difference in supply by the third day of using the new pump and that I should be able to eliminate all formula within 48 hours. Halejulea!

I definitely learned my lesson. Sometimes you get what you pay for. I should have spent the extra $50 on the really good pump because in the end I had to buy it anyway. I'm just so glad that now baby Cayden will be able to get *all* his food from me--the way it should be.

Cathing Up

I am writing this post on my new laptop; which is one of the main reasons I haven't been dishing about how great baby Cayden is.

While we were in the hospital after I had Cayden our computer got a horrible virus that completely wiped out the hard-drive. So we were forced to buy a new laptop. I wasn't really too happy about spending the money, but we have been needing a new laptop for awhile and our new laptop has a webcam so we can start online chatting with our friends and family.

My parents were able to make another trip out to see us after my aunt's funeral. Both my mom and dad thought it would do them good to get out of Los Lunas for awhile and spend some time with Cayden. Afterall, you can't help but be really happy when you are in Cayden's presence. He is such a light. I am so glad that my mom has something positive to focus on right now during this hard time in her life.

It already seems like Cayden is growing so much. He seems so mature and he is staying awake more and more everyday--I love interacting with him. He is already so strong. He lifts his head and can roll over on his side. We give him "tummy time" everyday and his little legs and arms are getting so super buff. I am no making this up, but this kid already had all kinds of muscle definition. I got a buff baby! He's so awesome.

Mommy & Cayden Time

My mom is back in New Mexico and Chad is back to work. This means that Cayden and I have been spending our days by ourselves. It has been absolutely blissful. While I desperately miss my parents and Chad, spending time with Cayden and bonding with him has been delightful.

When my mom went back to New Mexico on Sunday I was a bit apprehensive to be by myself with baby Cayden. I didn't know if I was ready to take care of him all on my own. I have actually surprised myself and adapted very well.

It feels so natural and right to be at home taking care of my baby. I find the stay at home role to fit me perfectly. My days are never dull and I find myself surprisingly busy. Cayden keeps me on my toes.

I can't take all the credit for having such an easy transition into motherhood; super mom I am not. I have to give most of the credit to Cayden. He is *so* easy to take care of. He never gives me any trouble. He hardly ever cries and is so easy going. Getting to take care of him is such a joy and blessing. I look forward to taking care of him the rest of my life.

My Two Sons

I would love to spend this post talking about how wonderfully Buster has adapted to baby Cayden. However, that isn't the case. And it isn't because of anything that Buster has done. Sadly to say it's my fault. I haven't given Buster the opportunity to get to know Cayden and accept him.

I have a fear and a mistrust for Buster and I don't know where it is coming from. I know that by keeping Cayden and Buster separate from each other it will only make Buster grow resentful and jealous of Cayden. However, I can't help myself. The minute I held Cayden I swore I would do anything to protect him. I just don't know why I feel that I need to protect him from Buster.

Buster is super courious about Cayden too. He just stares at him. I wonder what he thinks. I wonder if he is trying to protect his baby brother. I wonder if he sees him as a toy. I wonder if he sees him as a t-bone.

We haven't completely kept them separate. We just haven't integrated our two sons as much as I thought we would have. Buster has had opportunities to sniff Cayden and be near him while we hold him and feed him. Buster still sleeps in our bed at night and is inside most of the day. He just isn't getting the attention he used to. I feel bad admitting this, but I can go the whole day without even petting Buster. I am just so consumed by Cayden right now. I want to spend every single second with him.

Buster isn't completely alone. My parents have their dog, Pepper, at our house. They brought her down so that she could keep Buster company. So far she is doing a good job. They play and keep each other entertained most of the day. Chad gives Buster attention when he gets home from work, but still, it must be hard on Buster to get cast aside the way he has.

It's just that *everything* changes when you bring a child into this world. I have always said that I loved Buster like my own child, but Cayden actually is my own child. Cayden isn't *like* my son; he *is* my son.

I know that everything is still new and that everyone is still getting settled. I am confident that in time we will be one happy family of four.

What A Good Boy

Chad and I have been blessed with such a good little boy. He is absolutely perfect in every way. I simply can not get enough of him. He is so well behaved and so peaceful. He is laying next to me as I type this and he is an absolute angel. I love him so much is makes my heart ache.

I am not exhausted and sleep deprived like most new parents. Cayden actually lets me get sleep at night. He only wakes up to be feed and get a diaper change; I usually do this twice a night. He doesn't wake up screaming either. He calmly wakes up and makes a few whimpers and I go to him and he instantly calms.

He is happy in any situation. He is happy when he's being held and happy when he is put in his bassinet. He will gladly breast fed and gladly take the bottle. He is not picky or fussy at all. He doesn't mind diaper or clothing changes. I simply can not get over what a good little baby Cayden is. He is such an absolute delight to be around.

I was so impressed that he was able to latch on so quickly. He took to breast feeding like a fish takes to water. I love breast feeding Cayden. I love being able to provide for him outside the womb like I provided for him while he was inside me.

The minute I held him in my arms I knew that there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for him. I have the worlds biggest crush on him. I love everything about him. I can't stop showering him with kisses. I can't wait to watch him grow. It's going to be magical.

Cut Short

I put my mom on a plane this morning back to New Mexico. It wasn't the plan I had when I went to bed last night. It wasn't the plan anyone had when they went to bed last night. My mom was supposed to stay with me and enjoy Cayden until she went back to work the beginning of July.

Unfortunately, life doesn't always follow our plans; instead it throws us curve balls and we are taken places we never expected to be. My mom's baby sister, Patricia, past away last night. She was only 32 years old. Her birthday would have been this Saturday.

This past week has been the most joyous of my life...of all our lives. Now we are facing a dark cloud over the delight of baby Cayden. I have so many emotions inside of me that I feel I may burst.

All I want to do is enjoy my baby and keep myself in the cocoon of utopia that is been the last 9 days. Yet, I ache. I ache for my mom. I ache for my aunt. I ache for myself. I am so sad that I will never see her again. I am so sad she will never get to meet Cayden.

I don't know when the funeral services will be. I don't know if I will even be able to make it. I don't know if I can take Cayden traveling so far while he is still so little. I have a doctor's appointment for him tomorrow and I will ask the doctor if I am able to take him on the long road trip.

I will hate myself if I can't make it. I want so badly to be there for my mom. Yet, I can't leave Cayden. I have to be here and take care of him. It's times like these that I wish we didn't live so far away.

My mom's trip was cut short. My aunt's life was cut short.

Nurses

I would like to give a shout out to the nursing staff at Chandler Regional Hospital. They were simply wonderful. I had two nurses during my labor and delivery. Both of these women were wonderful, helpful, encouraging and genuine.

The first nurse Julie was present during the contractions and the administration of the epidural. She kept telling me that I was doing a fantastic job and helped keep me strong. She didn't have any children (I am sure us pregnant women have scared her too much!), but she did have fur-babies. Julie was no nice to the entire family and made sure every one, not just me, was comfortable the entire time.

Julie's shift was over at 7am. After her shift was over we were introduced to Diana. She was the nurse who was with me during Cayden's delivery. She did a fantastic job. She played a more active role in the delivery of Cayden that the doctor did.

I was actually surprised how much the doctor *wasn't* involved. The doctor broke my water, left, and came back into the room once Cayden began to crown. After the delivery he gave me some stitches and was off again.

Diana was with me during the entire labor process. She was there for all the pushing and helped me after the delivery get on my feet and get myself cleaned up. She was so kind and caring.

The nurse we had in the recovery room was awesome. She was an older lady and also a lactation consultant. She helped get Cayden to latch on properly. She was strict, but she got results. She would strip him down to his diaper, wake him up and shove my boob in his mouth. It was actually startling to watch, but after a few attempts Cayden took to the boob like a fish to water.

I am so pleased with all the care and attention we received from the nurses at Chandler Regional. They made our labor and delievery experience so special and memorable.

Greatest Invention Ever

I used to think that Tivo was the greatest invention of all time. I now stand corrected. Tivo is the second greatest invention ever...next to the epidural. I honestly don't know how I would have survived labor and delivery without the help of the epidural. I think I would have ended up having a c-section.

I know there are a lot of opinions out there regarding the use of medication during labor, however, I feel that everyone is entitled to their own birthing process. The epidural was part of my birthing process. I knew before I went into labor that I was going to get the epidural. The epidural allowed me to *enjoy* the process and I am thankful for that.

The pain was unbearable; indescribable. I couldn't stand the pain and I started breaking down mentally. As soon as the epidural was administered I felt instant relief and I was able to focus on the joy of Cayden being born rather than the pain associated with his birth.

The epidural allowed me to rest and gain strength for the delivery. My delivery started at night and I didn't actually deliver until the following morning. I can't imagine having been up for over 24 hours, several of them being in dire pain and then try to push baby Cayden out.

I respect every one's right to their own personal labor plan, this was *my* plan. All I can say is this: Cayden certainly did not appear to be all drugged up when he was born. He was wide eyed and alert; extremely interactive.

Also, Cayden had *zero* trouble latching on. Some people believe that babies have a difficult time latching on if their mothers had an epidural. Cayden latched on the first time they brought him to my breast. I haven't had one problem getting him to stay latched either.

Coach of the Year

I am officially naming Chad coach of the year. Not just pregnancy coach of the year, but all encompassing including football, basketball, baseball and any other type of coach of the year. He was amazing. I simply could not have handled labor and delivery without his love and support; they were tremendous, monumental and priceless.

He was by my side every second of the entire process. He painstakingly watched the contraction monitor for me and guided me through each and every one of my painful contractions. He would prepare me for when a contraction was about to begin, let me know when the contraction had reached its peak and let me know as the contraction was subsiding.

While there were times of intense pain and displeasure I've never felt closer to Chad than in those desperate moments. It was a very intimate experience. There was a lot of eye contact, kissing, hugging and holding hands. I never felt the urge to yell at him or call him names; instead we said, "I love you," about a million times. I only wanted to be closer to him. His physical and emotional presence helped me through all the pain and fear.

He kept me steady during the hard labor. When a long, strong contraction would start he would help me keep my focus. He would say to me, "Look at me. Look at me. Now breathe. Breathe with me." It helped so much.

As a couple I think we are stronger and more secure than ever. It was amazing to experience something so profound with him. He was so encouraging while I was pushing Cayden. I am so glad that he watched Cayden be born. It was beautiful. I can honestly say that we delivered Cayden together.

A Labor of Love

This is how I spent the day before Cayden's arrival:

I spent all of Thursday, June 4th with my parents. We went to eat lunch at Souper Salad. We then went to the mall for a little while (I got a new pair of flip-flops out of the trip). We then went to Wal-Mart to get groceries for the evening and do a little more walking.

After our Wal-Mart trip I came home and laid on the floor with my body pillow--my favorite activity in recent weeks. I started having contractions. I thought to myself, "is this it? Could this really be happening."

Alas, much to my diapointment my contractions stopped. Chad came home from work, we ate dinner and went on yet another walk. After the walk I took a shower. The contractions started again. This time they were closer together and more painful than before.

About 8:00pm we decided it was time to go to the hospital. We packed all of our bags in the car and away we went. We got to the hospital about 8:30 and I was checked into triage. I was asked numerous questions and was put on a couple of different monitors. One monitored the contractions the other monitored Cayden's heart beat. I was examed and I was about 4.5 centimeters dilated. I was instructed to walk and get re-examined 45 minutes later.

It must have been quiet a sight...seeing me (in a hospital gown), Chad and my mom and dad walking up and down the hospital halls. Each contraction was growing stronger and stronger; I couldn't even walk through some of them.

Our 45 minute walk was over and I went back to my triage room. The contractions were now 3 minutes apart and were each about 1 minute long. I was re-examined and had dilated another half centimeter. The nurse called the doctor on duty and asked if I should be admitted.

Much to everyone's surprise the doctor on duty sent me home! I couldn't believe it. None of us could believe it. I was completely frusted. The doctor on duty never even came to see me. I was given a sheet explaning when true and active labor has begun and I was experiencing everything on the sheet! I was frustrated because I didn't know when I should come back.

Feeling completely defeated we headed back home. The drive home was nearly 30 minutes. It was a long and painful drive. Once we got back to the house I was in dire and desperate pain. The contractions were so painful and so long and so frequent. I didn't know what to do.

We only stayed at the house for an hour and Chad took charge and said that it was time to get back to the hospital. We drove (once again) the 30 minutes to the hosptial and re-checked into triage. I was re-hooked up to the monitors and re-examined. I was up to 6 centimeters. The contractions were 30 seconds apart and lasting two minutes long.

This time I was actually admitted into labor and delievery. Chad and I got to the room and the anastegologist was called to administer my epiduarl; which did not come a moment too soon. I was losing my mental focus. I couldn't stand the pain. After the epidural was adminstered I felt immediate relief and had already dilated to 7.5 centimeters.

Progression slowed after the epidural was administered. Luckily I was able to get some rest. I had a long job ahead of me.

About 7:30am I was fully dilated. However, my water hadn't broken. The doctor manually broke my water and we waited about an hour to see if baby Cayden would make his way further down the birthing canal. Around 9am the nurse checked and Cayden had successfully made his way down the entire birthing canal. Now it was time to push.

Chad and my mom were my pushing coaches. They did a wonderful job. I pushed for about 30 minutes and then I had a son. It was the most amazing experience of my entire life. I still can't believe it. Everything with the delievery went perfect. Cayden was born beautiful and healthy and we couldn't be happier to have him.

So, that is it in a very small nut sheel. I still have so much to talk about. I can't wait to share it all.

Happy Birthday Cayden!

Cayden James Reed was born on June 5, 2009 at 9:52 am! He weighed in at 6 pounds 5 ounches and measured 19 inches long.

I can not wait to spend the next few days blogging about the magical day. It was the most amazing experience of my entire life. But for now, I gotta go...baby Cayden is calling to me.